why is this picture in particular so painful to look at and cause me such heartbreak? i think its because of how absurdly happy she looks, the way shes carrying herself, her assured, confident posture. shes literally glowing with joy. perhaps she was on a manic high or got creampied like 5 mins before the photo was taken. regardless, I doubt I could ever make her feel such dizzying heights of joy and pleasure like she was likely feeling here.