I saw Marky at a local library in South Kingstown the other day. I told her how cool it was to meet her in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother her and ask her for photos or anything.

She said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but she kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing her hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued browsing around, and I heard her chuckle as I walked off. When I came to the circulation desk up front I saw her trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen paperback romance novels in her hands without putting them on her library card.

The lady at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Ma'am, you need to lend those first.” At first she kept pretending to be tired and not hear anything, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When the librarian took one of the books and started scanning it multiple times (they were all the same copies of one book), Marky stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After the lady scanned each book and put them in a bag and started to say the due date, Marky kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.