>>47006
Whatever used to keep me going is no longer relevant. Video games were a distraction and guitar-playing was a hobby, but video games aren't good anymore. I see no reason to live and the waking feeling is like this is a nightmare that won't end. My eyes hurt from just looking at the world. Even just walking around my house feels terrible. I feel sick when I eat even on these meds that are supposed to increase appetite, like it's an annoying knot in my stomach. Everything just feels bad and it got worse over time. People will not listen to reason, and they make matters worse for me despite them believing they're doing the right thing.