>>134 Mom took a deep breath before addressing all of Susie’s questions. “Okay 1 point for 1 minute of socks, unless you wear them more than one day, then 1 point per day of wear per minute.” Susie gave an awwwwww… like she wanted to stick her 4 day old gym socks in my mouth, I was getting very scared. Mom continued “yes you can stand anywhere when you stand on him, but if you stand on his face or balls you have to take off your shoes or it’ll cost 2 points for 5 minutes, you know what I think he’s been such a jerk he can paint your toes once a week for no points but 2 points for an additional toenail painting in the same week. If Bob brings Jonny or anyone else over to OUR HOUSE he will be subject to any embarrassment we choose, however if Jonny rubs your feet or performs any of Bobs tasks it will still take the same number of points off as if Bob had done it. So Bob does this sound fair no actually forget fair, does it sound like payback?” “You’re crazy if you think I’m doing any of that, I’ll just move out, I am not letting that midget stand on me or stick her dirty socks in my mouth.” I replied amazed they thought I would put up with that. BAMMM!!!! Susie’s size 5.5 foot was planted in between my legs with astonishing speed. “5 more points for the word midget from now on we add 5 to the ledger every time you insult her or pick on her and no points off for that kick either.” Mom told me. “And if you think this deal is unfair how about we call 911 and tell them you hit your mother and sister. In jail you wouldn’t get anything as tasty as Susie’s socks shoved in your mouth that’s for sure.” They both were laughing as the realization that I was going to have to work off all my rudeness from 3 years. “Okay now we’re at 8918, let’s work it down to 8900 even before I go to bed.” Susie said with more excitement than I had ever seen her show. She slipped off her white ankle socks and stuck them in my waiting mouth “5 points for 5 minutes of socks,” BAMMM!! ” another 1 point for a barefoot kick in balls, hell make it 2 points,” BAMMM “now I’ll stand on you for five minutes, then five of self defense. Let’s see 1 more point to use tonight, I could make you take out the trash, nahhhh” BAMMMM!!!!! the worst kick to my tender balls so far. ” Here I go, I’m stepping up on your chest how does that feel?” “Hmmmphhh itch” Was the witty reply I came up with through Susie’s dirty sock. “Did you just call me a bitch? Mom back to 8905. Now I’m stepping on your face with my adorable little feet. Heck I probably don’t have to tell you where I’m stepping even though I only weigh 98 lbs. You can probably feel it right? See if you can feel this…” she stepped on my balls, after having kicked them several times I didn’t feel it very much. “…can you feel it? Hell I got 5 more points after that bitch comment might as well use ‘em up. Mom how many points for a stomp?” “Since we didn’t establish that it’ll count 1 point for now,” STOMP, whimper, STOMP, whine, STOMP, cry, STOMP, sob, STOMP, nothing. “Mom, he passed out don’t count that last stomp, as a matter of fact it was pretty rude to pass out while I was stomping his balls. I think we should add 5 points for rudeness.” She continued to stand on my balls, I’m not positive how long I was out but she got more stomps and standing than the points she took off for sure. I did some math and found that the number of points was over 8 per day for 3 years. Some quick math told me I could be kicked or stomped in the balls 8 times a day for 3 years and that’s assuming I can break the habit of making rude smart ass comments, I hope that I can. I’ll keep telling myself: - rude comment= kick in the balls - rude comment= kick in the balls - rude comment= kick in the balls - rude comment= kick in the balls
