I'm writing this because all of my close friends are in different city we cant see each other regularly and you guys basically my only friends here.

I have a gf for 2 years. She has robust medditerreneid phenotype, green eyes swarthy skin, tall for a gf. The way her mind works is very.. humble I say kindly. But she has heart of gold, closest to gold atleast. She supported me with all autistic shit possible and biggest problem was she was nagging me if I cheat on her. No modern 'grill' drama bullshit. Around a month ago because she went a concert without my consent and I left her because I thought she make one of these girl nights and I couldnt bear the idea. I just told her to fuck off and we didnt see each other for a month.

We got connected 2 days ago and turns out she has failed almost every of her classes and she is very close to get kicked out of university and her parents would basically either cast her aside of force her to marry some dumb retard because she is fucking around accoring to her family. Appereantly I fucked up her entire life, she said she barely eat anything, drink more than she eat. She has no reason to stay in this city anymore. I behaved like huge sociopath and you know what this is not satisfying, I feel dead inside a bit.When did I become like this? What am I? Where am I going? Is this how my future going to be? Ruining peoples lifes who selflessly helped me, for shits and gigles?

I really wish I could be a better person. On the other hand I'm too scared to seen as weak.