>>27568
>I'm writing this because all of my close friends are in different city we cant see each other regularly and you guys basically my only friends here.

Try some sports or meetup groups if you can. You can meet some people there.

>I just told her to fuck off and we didnt see each other for a month.

>Appereantly I fucked up her entire life, she said she barely eat anything, drink more than she eat.

She must have really been into you and she's just upset you didn't feel the same.

>When did I become like this? What am I? Where am I going? Is this how my future going to be? Ruining peoples lifes who selflessly helped me, for shits and gigles?

Well at least you realized that you're not being a good person. Just try to improve yourself from now on bro.

>I really wish I could be a better person. On the other hand I'm too scared to seen as weak.
Who cares? She's way worse off then you are right now. Just go talk to her and try to help.