I did fine up until I hit 12. That's also something to consider isn't it? When the other kids were chill I was chill. When they started acting up and being edgy and competitive and such my subconscious kind of skipped all the steps and wanted to just kill them all and win for real. But at the same time I respond very well to kindness, meekness, selflessness or self sacrifice, vulnerability, etc. It's just this weird extreme sensitivity I guess