I feel completely lost and miserable. Aside from the confusing fluctuations of emotions and thoughts that plague me since the beginning of this month, I have come to accept a major problem. My inability to stick to something. I have really tried to research, practice and improve in terms of enlightenment, occult understanding and abilities. But there's a viscious cycle that always emerges.
Downer phase -> Find spiritual/occult topic -> Inspiration/Motivation -> Research the topic and start practicing -> Slowly "perfectionism" and "deep thinking" kick in ("detecting flaws", no tangible progress aside from mostly surface level understanding, etc.), inspiration slowly fades away -> Drop the practice -> Downer phase (Feeling like shit or indulging in unhealthy behaviour)
How do I overcome this? Is this even necessary to overcome? Maybe everything I have encountered isn't for me, but this doesn't feel right...I have had some profound experiences, but the bleak reality of materalism always seems to creep up again. I want to get out.
Maybe it is a good idea to start a thread solely dedicated to the practice and improvement of spiritual development/abilities, like on 8kun.