>>316
>Do you think sharing your experience is considered boasting?
In this context, no.
It was more a reference to wanting tangible results. What are those for? I see 2 reasons, as I said
>wanting to show others to boast
>wanting evidence because you lack faith
Either reason could actually cause your situation to "lock down" and prevent tangible results.

>>315
>nothing terrifies me more. I want nothing to do with life
This sounds like a huge issue to handle. Sticking your head in the mud isn't going to help. No matter if that means hiding away, returning to mundanity or trying to find an easy way out in suicide. There probably won't even be functional monastaries in the future so even being a monk NEET won't be possible, I think. Maybe that's where you have to go, social life for mere practical survival.