>>464

>containers made from fossilized sin
it makes so much sense now. Only the most extreme emotions were able to get me out of this constant state of suffering and feeling of unwell. I know it was the life I am living right now but this is a struggle I must continue and if everything works out it might improve in some months This is not a wishful thinking from me. I made sure that my life will improve in months no matter what the question is what course will my life take to let the improvement take place.

And now that the shadow is content with the idea that I will give it a purpose all the symptoms cleansing are gone. I am at the 8th magnetic container and as this thing sorta can grow back if I don't watch my thoughts I will have so much more and 100% cleansing I am not even sure is possible for now but I will continue no matter what
Also now I know the source of my stupid and "evil" ideas (I had some in the past and they always backfired on me). When I read this post I had an idea that I need to make that container to store that nectar but that wasn't my idea that was the fucking shadow's idea and it still thinks it's a good idea but I am telling it that mere years of suffering pretty sure doesn't make him eligible to store nectar that the "elites" do. I will find it a proper way so the Shadow can get purified or get him some other purpose. Also molding it into a weapon doesn't work because it doesn't have the density it's still not on the "fossilized sin" level and I am definitely not turning it into that. Maybe creating a new entity and putting on it because it is sorta parasitic and it needs a host but the entity needs to be similar to me because it only sticks to me. I mean if I didn't completely misunderstand something the Gazer works similarly. But that may create a Shadow House scenario soooooooo maybe I shouldn't do it.

But at least now I understand why playing with my shadow attracted the attention of the Gazer. I just got the retarded idea that maybe the Gazer wants me to make this shadow into her partner because the Gazer didn't really want to eat this but it got attracted to me because I played with my shadow... This is either the best or the worst idea so far