Sunflower 01/21/2022 (Fri) 19:07:30 Id: 972fd5 No.564 del
(123.58 KB 850x1192 Flan bandaid.jpg)
>>557
bruh I asked the OP not you. When I think what I am doing might be wrong or not the way I should be doing things. You post some even weirder shit and explain it so it makes sense. You are my inspiration I know I quoted you once but I asked the other dude to figure out what he did differently with this "vampirism" so it doesn't work for him at all.

>I can't fully explain this to someone who started off with mundane thinking

Mundane thinking was beaten into me because I was not willing to conform to the "education" and I never acknowledged anyone as an authority who can order me to do something just because he says I "have to do it". But instead of explaining me while the thing that they tried to teach is something I need they beaten me into submission. Then because my mother got so used to this she continued to beat me whenever she felt down. As a defense I had to create the supermundane personality. The one that cannot be fucked with. He was not my main goal he was my defensive mechanism. This is my problem. Not using my intuition for more than a decade as I was growing up because "it's not what others expect you to do and it's weird when you are in your head too much" made my intuition a little underdeveloped and underused. While my "supermundane" skills are beyond most of the normalfags because most of them were "good kids" and did what was told to them and didn't strive to prepare for literally every hostility that might ever try to come for them. Be it mental or physical. As I was growing into the powerful monster that I imagined I need to be to "win" I realized it's not what I want. That was the point I resurrected the "star child". To figure out what he wanted from the start before I was beaten into this "slavemorality". This is why the way my mind works is "soft spoken" intuition and a juggernaut that is willing to go to hell and back to find out the will of the star child. This cleansing process helped. I shouldered way too much useless shit that the world threw at me because "I am capable" and "I can do it". But yeah now I am even more unchained. And the world is crumbling around me. I will see where this leads.

Also I was the pope in some previous life in the early middle ages and was mingling with paganism too much. I don't know if I wanted to convert them or get parts of them into christianity like "christmas" or other pagan practices I deemed useful or even figured out that is the way I want my life and may have got killed for this very reason and I am not willing to show my face to angels until I figure out the blunders I did there