>>9217
possibly needed in my case, First of i live in europe,in a spot hard to escape from in case of a sinking event. On the other hand even recently despite my very minimal practice ive been making progress.I removed a bunch of spells trying to restrain me by applying morality (again).Most of the attacks earlier in life was by moralists with magic spells. It seems my next reincarnation could be as a vampire and this would have disastrous to still be under the effects of. On top of that my soul is overall "battle damaged" and I seem to have to learn to integrate my destructive side better. It seems when no targets are available i try to attack myself or create battles for me.Seemingly having been fighting for so long that my fear of it makes me unable to handle uncertainty.Its like im always anticipating battle and have become more used to the fighting state than the pre battle tension state. In a battle there is a clearer position on where i stand in terms of the feelings.