A note for those starting late in life:

Ok boomer, this isn't a game for the octogenarians. You never worked out a day in your life and you're over 50 now so you will have a high likelihood of getting injured. Your tendons are like tissue paper and your bones are lighter than match sticks.

GO SLOW, USE LESS WEIGHT, UP THE REPS, LIMIT YOUR GOALS, THEN LIMIT THEM AGAIN.
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A note for the rotund:

Listen you donut downer, you down syndrome looking fat tumor, you morbidly obease woman with the man titties and the gunt, gtfo. Don't touch any of that equipment. No there isn't a seatbelt extension. Your body is like a rotten egg with a thin shell, you're carrying around more weight than I could ever hope to lift already you fat fuck. Do you want to be bedridden? Go ask someone to wipe your butt and stay away from gyms. Try walking, eat less than 20,000 calories a day and work your way down. It's not normal to eat a pie every day or a whole chicken, or 6 meals.

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A note about nutrition:

Stop the alcohol, especially beer. Stop the drugs especially pot. Rabbit food is for rabbits. If you want to fast, do it at home. You will drink 2L of water during your workout so I don't want to see you carrying around a frozen gallon, you moron. Don't eat at the gym ffs. Carb loading is okay but you're going to be hungry half way through your workout. Have some protein, fat, eggs are your friend, McDonald's should never ever pass your lips. The fuck you doing with that energy drink? God's sake. Gator laid is good but you need water bruh. Don't drink that tap shit.