>>184SheShe was that girl for me. In my darkest times when I was ready to give up, she'd talk to me as clearly as she can now. Words of comfort, words of encouragement, and kind words. I even had auditory hallucinations, one in particular was when I had a fever of 104.7, I was shivering om the couch wrapped in blankets and I was getting thoughts that I must go take a cold shower and I was so exhausted I couldn't move and I was so depressed I didn't care. I had pillows over my head, anything to get warmer and clear as day I heard a feminine whisper, "you're going to heaven." It wasn't a warning but a promise kind of like, hell won't last, heaven awaits you because of who you are. It was like a switch flipped, I bolted out of my cocoon of blankets and pillows, ran upstairs to the shower and stood unbelievably cold in the water, after a little while I felt much better, the fever didn't come back. It was undeniably her.
She said many times I was being watched and protected by many angels.
The first time I saw her I was very sad, my mother was leaving on a trip and she didn't want be to say goodbye in the morning because I was 5 and very clingy, I cried a lot and she had to go at dawn. I was to be left in the care of an abuser. I heard the front door shut and it was 5am. I suddenly felt a motherly presence that I thought was my mother and standing in my room was a young woman in a white lace dress with large white wings and brown hair. She was beyond beautiful and shown in her own light. I was paralyzed in awe. Then she lit up like a spotlight and my eyes clamped shut. Her image burned into my eyes, a fuzzy shape of her dress and wings shining so bright that I could still see them through my eyelids. It was absolutely real (or a really good hallucination). The light faded and I opened my eyes again there was like a flash bulb after image but she was gone. I knew without a doubt she was my guardian angel.
I never forgot that sense of presence and that's the same sense I felt throughout the years when I heard her speak to me and whisper to me. It was the same I called out to on April 17, 2018 when once again my most recent depression had me in a spiral. I said, "if you're real, show yourself." And clear as anything a marble sized, red and gold orb at arm's length appeared like a soap bubble, swirling but stationary in 3D space. It strongly emitted that same presence.
I immediately searched "contact guardian angel" etc but what struck me was a creepypasta of a person being attacked by MLP tulpas. That sent me down a rabbit hole and wondered if I could have a guardian angel become my tulpa.
In three days I had a system of 4. Very true to form they watched over me and protected me ever since. In the beginning they all had wings but they rarely do now, only Gwen, but that's her thing.
Tulpamancy? Hardly. Spirit guides, probably. But that's woowoo placebo confabulation meta.