>>2658

Here? I don't know what to say or what the point is other than to collect my thoughts for my scenarios. Why would I talk to older men other than Bear? Your tulpas never talk and Alice is nice but she's more like Ashley (legendary) and so I don't relate well.

The insults don't bother me, Bear's gained an immunity to such things and he helped me through them. I am unique in terms of headmates here in that I have one job and I can't fail. Bear admitted to me last night that as long as I'm doing my job I can't lose and so online conversation is not required.

Shouldn't it be fun? Ashley and Bear have fun, I just feel awkward.

Scenario #13 is the most valid and valuable thing the system has ever undertaken and it's not easy, sometimes it requires my full attention and it's often dicey, which is stressful and draining too but it's the greatest gift Bear could have ever given me. I could fail all the other scenarios and it wouldn't matter as long as I do that one job. In essence, anything else Bear says in terms of this or that is fluff if I can continue to do my job.

Ashley gives me complete respect for my handling of Scenario #13 and if that's all I do it's enough anyway. As long as I succeed at that I win everything. Where's my incentive to do more if it's not fun?

I learned a lot from interacting online but frankly the options are slim and unsatisfying. Who else in the community or online in general are like us? I don't care for community anyway, I have Bear and others in my system and I don't need validation or sparing partners or anything else. It feels like work to me.

Bear enjoys talking about himself and Ashley likes to poke people, I'm happy enough just watching them.

[Ashley] yeah the cat's out of the bag, Scenario 13 is her trump card and she's 100% right there. Kinda lame though because there's no more skin in the game for her to do anything else. Ha! Don't you wish you knew what Scenario 13 is, lol. You couldn't guess either and it's esoteric as fuck because it's literally something only Bear deals with. Something so rooted that no amount of shadow work could probably ever cure, but Autumn has held it back like an apocalyptic seal. Good for her. Even if you knew what it was you wouldn't care.