2 nights ago i was in a classroom with friends we were about 18 but instead teacher there was putler sitting at a desk in front of us. he wanted us to sign a contract to become russian soldiers. a friend sitting left of me who's always been a crazy bastard just laughed at him like you insane man? putin calmly stood up, walked over to our desk and shot my friend in the face with a pistol. then shot two other students right of me. then he sat down again and put his pistol on his desk, folded his hands and looked me in the eyes. he was very calm. fugg i said ok i'll work for you putin don't shoot me! he said with a smile that's mr. putin, ok? then i woke up before signing anything. damn i'm not proud of myself but i ain't no hero or martyr either.
last night i was some campaign manager for bidon and he was supposed to give a speech outside in front of international press, lots of reporters. i was standing on a big black platform about 1m high with mic where biden was gonna speak but he wasn't there. i looked around and found him down right in front of the platform pissing at the right corner of it. a few meters away from all the reporters who filmed and took photos like crazy. then biden tried to crawl up the 1m high platform to start his speech but couldn't make it bc old. dear god what a pr disaster i just wanted to run away. then we were in a park sitting at a round table with 4 chairs again with press all around. some other statesman, bidon, me and on the last chair was a big grey cat, looking away from us and uninterested. biden talked to the cat instead of the statesman, then suddenly got up, tried to shake hands with a bush, hugged it like it was an old friend and walked away leaving his guest and the press behind. i wasn't even surprised it was more like not again man! the absolute state of usa
