You know how women supposedly "rebel" against their parents and supposed "patriarchy" nonsense? I have a simpler theory. As we all know, every woman that loses her virginity before marriage is a damnèd whore. Women "rebel" (ironic choice of words considering the entire whole of the planet promotes it but whatev) against their dad by whoring out because
>my dad isn't paying me enough

That simple! Just like all women want is money, it turns out they only fuck for "free" to extort money from their own parents.

1. Loses virginity to cucumber, achieving a paternal imprint on a material good
2. Needs money
3. "Sorry dad, I was built for BBC!"
4. Still poor (sad face)
5. Becomes obnoxious old hag (explains even more than previous theories)