>>1729
I think I found the black sun. I think this is it. It's closer to the physical than to the astral and it affects everything around me. It's an extremely dangerous substance. It seems to me this is a "death element". Because I channel high energies but still have weird attachments I easily attract it. Also because I am making the life death rebirth cycle into one it seems my energies half assedly generate it around me.(literally "resurrecting"/activating this element) I can sell this energy to death gods but... I don't know a single thing I need from death gods. I mean I made some trades they were all a bad idea.

Watch over with this energy because it dirties the soul. I found a paradise with buddhas meditating and I have to go there to get this thing off me. Buddhism is about getting rid of this death/suffering element anyway. And I can channel higher energies already. They are just not as effectively affect reality (the next step should be familiarizing myself how the 4 basic elemental kingdoms work). Just because I found the source of black magic doesn't mean I should use it. I don't really have enemies anymore.