>>4019
>very deep, but calm abyss
That is your "origin energy" that is also what I felt when trying to find your "nonhuman" parts.

>also that i'm marked by her as well
When a connection establishes it usually results in a mark.

>i could be hallucinating this but i feel as if she had me address her as mother
It is a good sign. It means you accepted her as the "mother force" of your development. Addressing her the same way and with the same feel will probably put you into the proper mindset to make it easier to talk to her.

>i really do feel like i need to learn japanese
If you feel the calling do it. The kanji symbols are way too ancient and their origin precedes Japan. I wonder just how old is the land of Yamato.

>to some past life thing or with the princess
It feels both.
Learning japanese will probably help you connect to your "other part".