>>4788
>know its incredibly silly to even worry or care about such things but still
You will have to face this worry because it is a sort of "knot" upon your energies and you will just jump back into this pit of despair without realizing. It's shadow work as they say. It sounds silly but it is part of us. We have to face it and deal with it. We need these minor things to be solved so we can face "bigger problems"
>be me
>try to realize cosmic circuitry teaching
>see energy moving through the body in a majestic way
>suddenly energy block
>it turns out it is a decades old childhood memory complex
>now I have to relieve and "re"realize myself to be able to proceed further
>I have to understand how that part was me is me and how change goes through everything because what I will realize into my being on the path would just feel "foreign" otherwise
TLDR.: Do you want to reject arcane knowledge because you are unable to deal with your silly past? The real Fool is the one that doesn't want to accept that he is the fool on the journey so instead of walking the path he comes up with excuses to stay as the fool forever.

You are progressing btw. If you can word your issues then you are going through them instead of ignoring them and solidifying into an energy block. But you have to face it to see what lies "behind" the block. Your sisters will help in this. Don't forget to talk to them...
Maybe you should talk to the crows now tho. Maybe they will lead you places in the forest. Remember the forest in Rozen Maiden in the MCs mind. Same thing but this will be a little more complex.

Also I have a hunch that your motor skill problem comes from the fact that it is locked in your weapon doll soul complex. You try to use your body as you are a mundane normie and you are not tapping into your "real skills". This way the "imitating normies" skill is not triggering because you are doing it from the wrong way. Hard to explain better. Sometimes my hands move on their own when I am in the zone but I wouldn't call myself skilled because once I move out from the zone accidents happen.