>>4796
>I got that "doom and gloom" part of you and the society that you inhabited
You can't understand the mentality and logic of a place like that from the modern world view. The wine is the blood of Christ, the bread is his meat. Dying made him immortal. We eat his meat and drink his blood to become immortal.

"I am the sun, resurrection and life"

The sun? No idea where that came from, but that's my wording. Things don't work like they do today when people have morality and TVs and indoctrination. No one back then paid taxes, only businesses did. All females were whores, as soon as they could. Killing yourself or killing someone else, it exists in a vacuum, it doesn't mean anything.

We tend to think the 1800s and before were so moralistic, but that's what was written down. Try reading some classic Japanese novels from the 1100s onwards and it's 50% porn and no one thinks it's anything. The modern idea of Victorian morals has become dominating, but in reality very few followed this stuff.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1dxHyU74WE&list=PLroBLtXDO08UOLlsb-LSPh7y8-6zgmG4a&index=65

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iR8SwgfdrZk&list=PLroBLtXDO08UOLlsb-LSPh7y8-6zgmG4a&index=28