>>5583
>(not for me per se, but for everyone else)
Trust me the shit I am dealing with is more tiring especially if I want to word it. Interpreting your stuff is refreshing. Especially on this board where we have astral programmers and alien techs. Your case is close to my understanding of metaphysical mechanics.
>spiritual/equivalent of begging. its silly
Nah that's this guy >>5325 if you can word things better than him you are not a "beggar" on this board. We all have our issues and solving the issues of others can yield insights. That is why I am doing it. I said I am practicing my mysticism didn't I. I live with mundanes IRL they are not a good practice beyond the regular mental emotional alchemy I am fixing in them.
>me trying to learn/do things on my own isntead
That is a good goal. Keep up with it. But never fear to ask for help. That was an annoying lesson for me too. I was in that "no one can able or willing to help me every help I receive is actually a push towards hell" kind of thinking. I had to learn how others can "help me" but not the way mundanes think "helping works". Modern world fucked up people real hard. I had to understand their strengths and gifts on a higher level so I can help them apply it and with that help me in the process. How the right handed and the left handed path connects.
>vaguely recall rick and morty having episode involving that concept
That show overdid that trope quite a lot because only adult swim shows can get away with portraying things that disgusting.
>i was more compaasionate, motherly, supportive, etc. i didnt feel.. blank
OUR KING IS PERFECT
Yes that is your "companion soul"+ your self realization put together. You are retaining yourself.

>the assassination thing was something that happened a few years back and i thought i spoke on it here in the past thread at some point
I forgot so either link the post pls or rewrite the experience if you think it's important.