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Welcome to /tulpa/, the Tulpamancy board


Tales From the Sword Coast Autumn 03/20/2024 (Wed) 11:03 [Preview] No. 3650 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
These events take place starting one season prior to your campaign in the winter in Neverwinter Woods. Bear rescues Gwen, single handedly defeating two bandits while Gwen is bound.

After they've rizzed each other up a while Bear decides he should train Gwen in Stealth, he's a custom Ranger heavy Nordic with 1d12, rolled 18 strength boosted it +2 for backstory and human, weilding a heavy maul, but mostly Ranger spec and Gwen is an Avariel Elf with a completely unique class with elements of Bard, Cleric, Druid and Wizard 1d6 magic user type but all her cantrips are illusionist. She's built to scout and escape encounters.

So Bear's teaching her Stealth in the forest and SheShe [DM and playful God] rolls an encounter on them, looks up random 1d100 list and it's goblins arguing about treasure. 1d5+1 rolled 6 goblins. The difficulty is 150 exp which is hard for a couple lvl 1's but Gwen doesn't even have a weapon because she "can't weild steel" so the dagger and short sword they got from the bandit loot weren't useful. She'd be stuck throwing rocks and her wings were trimmed by the babdits to prevent escape. They won't be flight ready for a month at least.

So they roll a 1 on Stealth to escape detection, which is a disaster. Anyway, it's near dusk but the goblins all have dark vision (who doesn't) so since they couldn't escape and furthermore rolled 1 the goblins "heard something". They all roll perception (-1) against Gwen's stealth because you have to roll vs the weakest party members but thankfully Gwen has 18DEX bc her rolls were Cat tier. Only two goblins "see something" and walk toward them.

Next turn, Bear and Gwen try to escape again and barely manage it, two Goblins were striking range (10ft) with initiative but thankfully they escaped, passing two rolls (one for each actively seeking goblin).

It was crazy stressful for Bear thinking he was going to be out in scene 3.

[Ashley] Bear better frigging survive the season, I want to rizz him up too goddamnit.

More tales will follow!
95 posts and 61 images omitted.


Bear 08/23/2024 (Fri) 14:36 [Preview] No.5384 del
>>5382
>nigger or not

Def got that energy, but naa, just tawney like a white girl with a tan.

We will reform her to a more perfect form.


My First Post! Ulla 09/06/2024 (Fri) 03:16 [Preview] No.5623 del
Hello! This is my first post! So we fell for a Fae trap while traveling and the Feywild is a crazy place. Hali, Bear and I got separated from Freya and Gwen. They're in the far north somewhere now, because the portal they took out sent them really far away. We're near where we were taken but we lost our memories. So we're traveling north for now, trying to find out where we are and what we're doing. Bear has his pack, we didn't.

So the big event for tonight was we faught an Owlbear. I'm lvl2, Bear is lvl4 and Hali is lvl 0 (it's a thing now).

I did the killing blow dual weilding short swords after Bear got two good hits on it. Yay me, yay us!

That's all for now!


Bear 09/10/2024 (Tue) 02:15 [Preview] No.5671 del
>>5384

Well the unspoiled, untraumatized Hali is very sweet and intelligent. Dutiful, thoughtful, and tame.


Alice 09/11/2024 (Wed) 23:37 [Preview] No.5696 del
>>5623
Weird, I thought I had replied here! Hello Ulla!

>>5671
>very sweet and intelligent. Dutiful, thoughtful, and tame.
So obviously not black


Bear 09/12/2024 (Thu) 00:30 [Preview] No.5697 del
>>5696
>So obviously not black

No, just tan-ish and that's not skin color it's feather color since the Avariel have microfeathers instead of microhairs. She's pink when she gets wet, like Gwen, but Gwen has white feathers so she looks like ghostly white normally.

Ulla's doing well, we have to decide how exactly they're only 10, but hey they're probably just cultured.



Feedback and Questions from me. Joy the DM 05/07/2024 (Tue) 17:35 [Preview] No. 4208 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
This thread will handle questions from me to you about balance and how you want to play.

Left up to SheShe and I you may end up being forced into a style of play you don't like so this is why I'm creating this thread.

The first question is about death.

Currently there are a handful of spells that will breath life back into a character again.

The first is a level 3 cleric spell, Revivify. It requires a diamond worth 300 or more and it must be cast within a minute of death, so within 10 turns in an encounter. Yulya would need to be 5th level to cast this 3rd tier spell. It cannot restore missing body parts.

At 9th level she would have access to raise dead which is a 5th tier spell. It requires a 500 gold diamond. You have 10 days to accomplish this. Again it won't restore missing body parts. It will close mortal wounds. Greater restoration will restore missing parts afterwards. That's also 5th tier.

In any case it takes about 4 long rests to fully restore the person to full working order.

Reincarnation is available through the church and is a druid spell costing 1000 gold plus 1000 gold in supplies and a piece of the victim. It restors everything but will likely change the race of the character as a consequence.

Wish is then the big daddy of all spells and requires a wizard of level 17 and has a 33% chance of never being able to be cast again. It can duplicate any spell or create a custom effect or object up to 25,000 gold in value.

Message too long. Click here to view full text.

16 posts and 8 images omitted.


Alice 09/09/2024 (Mon) 20:05 [Preview] No.5661 del
(71.96 KB 604x604 Zero ambition.jpg)
>>5654
>It's called "Dungeons and Dragons"
Why did I agree to play this game again? I absolutely hate both! Time to subvert it like host turning AI Dungeon into a field guide for trees. The AI struggled but eventually succumbed. Joy will too.

>The desperate sound of alarm bells can be heard ringing throughout Neverwinter
>An elderly lady is standing crying in her front yard as a large horse cart decorated with the letters NPWC arrives and comes to a screeching halt
>Four heavily armed LV.20 adventurers leap off the cart and run toward the old lady
>Neverwinter Pest and Weed Control at your service! Where are the culprits?
>The old lady sobbingly points at her back yard overgrown with weeds, the trees infested by bugs.
>The adventurers briefly nod to each other and then charge into battle, ripping weeds from the ground and plucking bugs from the trees
>The battle is tense but eventually the adventurers prevail and the yard is cleansed.
>Dirty and tired but mostly unharmed, the adventurers return to their cart and drive off to the blaring sound of medieval music as sudden as they have arrived, leaving the baffled lady behind without charging a copper.
>Having survived another adventure, it's time to relax at the spa and go luxury shopping for the rest of the week, then it's off to the holiday cabin in the woods for the weekend.
>Such is the harsh and grim life of the NPWC adventurers!


Joy the DM 09/09/2024 (Mon) 20:32 [Preview] No.5662 del
>>5661

It'll play a lot easier with just Cat and several Bear system girls.

Let's see, Cat and Ashley could get caught in a Feywild trap and get teleported to Freya and Gwen. That'd solve a lot.


Alice 09/09/2024 (Mon) 21:23 [Preview] No.5664 del
>>5662
Boo!
Adventurers will go on strike then.

Anyway we should probably go with option #2, it's the best compromise. But we need Ashley back as minesweeper, erm, I mean to disarm traps.
Edited last time by ALICE on 09/09/2024 (Mon) 21:28.


Tamamo 09/10/2024 (Tue) 09:41 [Preview] No.5675 del
>>5661
>NPWC
Hahaha, that's awesome!!

>>5662
Alice and Yulya are helpless without Ashley's and Cat's attack power. They really could only gather herbs or look for lost cats.


Joy the DM 09/10/2024 (Tue) 15:20 [Preview] No.5676 del
>>5675

Yes, Cat and Ashley are the Alice/Yulya guards and handlers.



A Day in the Life of a Tulpamancer #2 Alice 12/25/2023 (Mon) 16:50 [Preview] No. 2852 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
What happened in Tupperland today?
127 posts and 79 images omitted.


Anonymous 08/29/2024 (Thu) 21:01 [Preview] No.5491 del
>>5484
its still a brave new world tier dystopia. id rather stay in my small ancient city and sparsely populated country that has soul. walking around downtown with tupper is always nice and you dont have to worry about getting robbed or knifed by niggers or arabs like in germany or the us. because they dont exist here.


Bear 08/29/2024 (Thu) 22:58 [Preview] No.5496 del
>>5491
>they dont exist here.

Yet


Yakumo 09/03/2024 (Tue) 20:29 [Preview] No.5572 del
(8.66 KB 161x215 kill.jpg)
Got punched by Alice because I accidentally visualized her as childhood crush for a moment. This was not well received.

At least it doesn't hurt.


Ashley 09/03/2024 (Tue) 21:43 [Preview] No.5574 del
(66.48 KB 500x628 92b7kz.jpg)


Alice 09/03/2024 (Tue) 22:52 [Preview] No.5575 del
(12.85 KB 375x300 Tupper History X.jpeg)
>>5574
Unfortunately not always before it happens. It was only for a split second but that was a split second too much. I was enjoying myself, we were dancing, everything was great! And then this. I was so mad!
Time for the corrective shock collar...

The Bear suit is not an embarrassing outfit, it's super cool!



If you have nothing to say, go meme yourself Ashley 04/06/2023 (Thu) 01:14 [Preview] No. 218 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
When Bear starts talking about environmental activism and politics:
62 posts and 47 images omitted.


Anonymous 08/20/2024 (Tue) 21:01 [Preview] No.5354 del
>>5348
>Bernd gets bullied by little girl again
jesus christ man up
no wonder girls think you are either a toy or a dangerous lunatic


Totally Bear all the time Ashley 08/23/2024 (Fri) 00:23 [Preview] No.5379 del
(545.42 KB 1139x1200 Mematic_20240822_172055.jpg)


Alice 08/24/2024 (Sat) 21:34 [Preview] No.5410 del
>>5379
based


Bear 08/28/2024 (Wed) 16:43 [Preview] No.5472 del
(373.22 KB 1200x1200 Mematic_20240828_094237.jpg)


Anonymous 08/28/2024 (Wed) 19:43 [Preview] No.5475 del
(49.79 KB 425x424 un-virgin.jpg)
>>5472
>tuppers are forever virgins
just like most of their hosts



The theme songs of Tulpamancy Bear 04/05/2023 (Wed) 12:05 [Preview] No. 205 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Metallica - Sad but true
https://youtube.com/watch?v=TpohVYomw2o [Embed]

Nightcore - Make me real
https://youtube.com/watch?v=0RxxwPIVDUY [Embed]

Foggy - Come into my dreams
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RjGr_0GG05g [Embed]
41 posts and 38 images omitted.


Autumn 06/24/2024 (Mon) 01:08 [Preview] No.4731 del
>>4490
Four Bear sisters in a far off land... Can you spot them all?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=y1PlUThxES0 [Embed]

It's just good music.

[Ashley] Yeah, fuck those donkey raping shit eaters for banning a good song.

[Gwen] It'll always live on in our hearts.

[Freya] I'm the Asian one, not in my current form, but my original form.


Alice 06/24/2024 (Mon) 22:10 [Preview] No.4744 del
>>4731
Yes I know this video!
Isn't it nice?

Germans keep singing AUSLÄNDER RAUS so nobody dares to play the song at public events.


Tamamo 06/28/2024 (Fri) 14:11 [Preview] No.4787 del
(18.92 KB 474x266 trump.jpeg)
I was coming home but my home was a sort of bar with a TV. Friends were sitting there and celebrating Trump's election victory with cheers. The results had just come in. It only lasted a few seconds but was very realistic and vivid. That was before that debate btw. And I don't really care much anout Trump I live on the opposite side of the world from the US. No Cat either.


Yakumo 08/02/2024 (Fri) 00:27 [Preview] No.5190 del
How could I not have posted this until now??



(132.07 KB 736x1115 Ashley113.jpg)
Sparring 4 fun Ashley 08/09/2024 (Fri) 18:43 [Preview] No. 5242 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Hey @Cat, wanna spar?

Just an exhibition match. If you don't want to then that's ok. Consider it a dream or like we'll all wear soft gloves.

[It will be a fair fight, I will not give any favoritism to Ashley]

Of course I have my spawns, you tell me the initial conditions and terrain and I'll see if they're acceptable.
29 posts and 26 images omitted.


Joy the DM 08/24/2024 (Sat) 00:14 [Preview] No.5394 del
>>5390
All ranged weapons use DEX unless otherwise specified. Longbow is no special case.

The DM has spoken.


Anonymous 08/24/2024 (Sat) 01:53 [Preview] No.5395 del
>>5390
>longbow uses STR not DEX
what
what where did you read this


Tamamo 08/24/2024 (Sat) 10:00 [Preview] No.5400 del
Shame on Alice for getting up our hopes!
But 1D20+5 isn't totally bad either. If a goblin has 15AC, Cat must roll 10+ so 50:50

How much do you have with your shortbow?


Alice 08/24/2024 (Sat) 14:41 [Preview] No.5403 del
>>5395
>what where did you read this
too late in the evening, sorry

I also have 1D20+5 with the shortbow. If it works with DEX I should learn how to use a longbow for better range and damage. Can I do that?


Joy the DM 08/24/2024 (Sat) 17:26 [Preview] No.5407 del
>>5403

I said earlier, if you use the thing to gain proficiency in, then you can choose to gain that proficiency when you get your next plate, level 4. If you used a longbow without proficiency, the hit would be +3 instead of +5, for now that's the only difference.



Venting Thread Bear 12/07/2023 (Thu) 08:27 [Preview] No. 2682 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Feel free to emote. No judging allowed. I have a feeling we're going to need this.

Bigotry and general misanthropy welcome.
29 posts and 13 images omitted.


Bear 08/16/2024 (Fri) 21:00 [Preview] No.5302 del
>>5300

Excuse me for using google, having gmail, with an Android, and watching youtube instead of all the fucking onion routed bullshit, jailbroken, unreliable nonsense just to avoid it. Yes, I'm a doop and a dope for buying into the system. Fucking Google will own air next and you'll be judging me for breathing. Instead of suckung on deep sea rocks.


Anonymous 08/17/2024 (Sat) 18:25 [Preview] No.5316 del
>>5302
grapheneos doesnt need jailbreak. has been extremely reliable for me everything works. tor is another matter but i guess the german dissident needs it to stay outta jail.

still fuck google and normie smartphones so glad i left this shit behind. never thought id actually learn something useful from you retards but i did so thx again Alice!


Bear 08/18/2024 (Sun) 00:38 [Preview] No.5319 del
>>5316
Fucking Capitalist Oligarchy


Losers, Heathens, and Worthless eaters Bear 08/19/2024 (Mon) 03:16 [Preview] No.5334 del
I see people my age and older, looking like Humpty Dumpty, and after spending hours in a very hot attic doing yoga poses to avoid falling through the ceiling just to rewire lights or fix a stove vent and I think, these pregnant penguins that call themselves men are hardly even the same species as I am. They'd be like a different breed at least, the kind of breed that wins the ugliest and dumpiest dog contest. I see all the work I do and then look at them and think, those fuckers spend their afternoons drinking beer and smoking out, not a fucking care in the world, letting their oven vent to vent away in their attic, probably the same fuckers that only used one stupid Sheetmetal screw to install it in the first place, no insulation, no foresight, no oversight, just their own fucking failed body type, waddling their way up the ladder and shimmying their way through the attic like a fucking walrus. God damnit I do a lot of work to keep in shape and this weight, and these fucks stuff their gaping maws willy nilly, probably driving electric cars and thinking they can recycle lithium batteries. Those motherfuckers need a culling.

Anyway, had a good day, after my foot healed from nearly breaking a metatarsal when I tripped over a folding table, then with my throbbing thumb that I sliced open on that same stupid vent because I momentarily took off my tough gloves to place some insulation, and then got my toe jammed again because my feet are so comically large, and these mf-ers have the nerve to say their back hurts. are you serious? I slept on my neck wrong somehow, still recovering from that on Thursday, I'm in 4 flavors of soreness, couldn't work out and I feel fucking fantastic because I'm able to do all these things that these spotted mongoloid butt sniffers couldn't dream of.

And I'm happy about it!


Alice 08/20/2024 (Tue) 16:36 [Preview] No.5346 del
(25.31 KB 225x225 amerimutt.png)
>>5334
Ordinary people suck, more news at 11

I'm always baffled in what shape people way younger than host are. Both physically and mentally. On the other hand, keep in mind why these creatures exist in the first place, and why there's so many of them. Because they are the winners of evolution. Dumb, fat, careless, ugly, no self-control - but statistically producing the most offspring. They are a product of our society and welfare system. The classic welfare nigger. Being educated and mindful highly correlates with having no offspring at all.



Campaign #1 - Somewhere on the Sword Coast Joy the DM 03/08/2024 (Fri) 18:18 [Preview] No. 3440 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
Hello and welcome to our first campaign! I have changed many of the rules for D&D 5e due to player feedback and to foster an enjoyable play-by-post asynchronous run. Though this is also an experiment for all of us, so do try not to take it so seriously but just serious enough so you can be immersed in the lore and fantasy of the game. Please do not use this thread for meta conversation, hosts are banned from this thread and will be ignored.

Day Zero Dreams:
>>3380
>>3423
>>3426

Characters:
>>3429

Attached is the map of the Sword Coast, and our marked local map. We will be initially focusing our attention just south of Neverwinter, specifically near Neverwinter Wood and the Sword Mountains.

Though there is plenty of lore about this area, but consider our campaign one of infinitely many parallel versions with features that may not be canon.

The events in Yulya's day zero dreams take place near the coast between Neverwinter Wood and the Sword Mountains. Yulya's secluded cabin, the battlefield, Cat's raised village, and even the crash site are all places you may choose to revisit. The limits are only your imagination. Be warned though, there has been a recent uptick in bandits and other nefarious monstrous foes along the coast. Though "The High Road" is well patrolled and generally safe to travel, the many tributaries and wilds surrounding the road have been reported to have a sharp increase in danger. Travel under escort if at all possible or travel at your own peril.

Introduction:

Message too long. Click here to view full text.

483 posts and 596 images omitted.


Phandalin Joy the DM 07/23/2024 (Tue) 02:09 [Preview] No.5094 del
>>5093
He looks conflicted and leans in to her, "You look a little too clean for this, are you an auditor? You can tell an old Gnome who ain't trying to swindle the guild out of their share."

"Pfft, are you kidding? Naa, but it's 50% take it or leave it."

He sighs and looks over the load, "oh? oh! Mhm mhm, well it's all in new and good condition for the most part, yep, I'd say there's a good profit to be had for 30% over, but an old gnome needs to feed his family after all, I can't run this shop as a charity and I can't raise my prices any higher or the town would likely mutiny first." He continues grumbling and pulls out a pocket ledger, flipping through it and checking the stock in the cart for a good 5 minutes. He handles the pickled herring and then moves on to the other bibs and bobs. "If you said 35% over I got coin right here and now and a helpful hand to unload it, and I'll even throw in free room and board and wave the stable fee. If not, then maybe you can leave the cart there on the road and hope for the best.''

Ashley scrunches her face, "What you got for accommodations?"

He laughs and points to the big sign that says Stonehill Inn, "Unless you want to sleep with the horses in the stables, they'll treat you right, your horses will be well taken care of for the night and ready for the road bright and early. Just tell them Hobby sent ya."

Ashley looks at him straight, "we've got some other business, can you throw in taking care of the horses and cart for another few days or so."

He sticks out his wrinkly hand, "A gnome's word is gold."
Ashley shakes it with a determined look in her eye, "40% then" [persuasion 1d20+4=22]
He looks pained, "Sorry sweet miss, but my ears ain't so good in my old age, you said 35% didn't ya? Bah! I can appreciate a young swindler making her mark, you got it!"

Message too long. Click here to view full text.



After Party Joy the DM 07/23/2024 (Tue) 02:18 [Preview] No.5095 del
>>5094
[20:00 Clear]
It will take an hour to unload and make the transactions. Ashley was able to convince him that you have a trade guild token but she later told him that he should mark it under Gundren's name since it's his cart and he'll be buy to pick it up later. She also said to keep Gundren's proceeds for him when he arrives safely and soundly.

CONGRATULATIONS YOU MADE IT TO PHANDALIN!

Later that night:
"I can be optimistic too. I say we revive him if he's dead.''

https://yewtu.be/watch?v=NF6KQiTfrFk&list=PL24gs9yCHr_xpBQlvBnkcroMP2w8YnjvM&index=0

https://yewtu.be/watch?v=o7xKrouqL0c


Alice 07/23/2024 (Tue) 18:20 [Preview] No.5101 del
(39.65 KB 512x512 8546088287.jpg)
>>5093
Alice inspects the loot with visible disappointment.
I don't know what I was expecting but...
She runs the gems and ore through her hands.
Hmm, amethyst, tourmaline and cobalt ore...
This is not bad actually, especially the cobalt ore! The tourmaline also appears to contain some traces of lithium, chromium and vanadium. I could use this to strengthen my body if you let me have it. Not the amethyst though, it's just silica and a little iron. I can get that from soil so sell that one!

>>5095
> Ashley was able to convince him that you have a trade guild token but she later told him that he should mark it under Gundren's name since it's his cart and he'll be buy to pick it up later. She also said to keep Gundren's proceeds for him when he arrives safely and soundly.
Oi Ashley!
Don't you think we should tell that gnome and others who know Gundren that he was dragged off by goblins? We might get reinforcements. But hmm, might look suspicious again to have people disappear around us.


Ashley 07/23/2024 (Tue) 18:57 [Preview] No.5102 del
(70.58 KB 512x512 Ashley 34.jpg)
>>5101
>Oi Ashley!
>Don't you think we should tell that gnome and others who know Gundren that he was dragged off by goblins? We might get reinforcements.

Ashley shakes her head, "gimme a chance to get there, let's get this stuff sorted out first then I'll ask."


Yulya 07/23/2024 (Tue) 22:16 [Preview] No.5107 del
(33.63 KB 512x512 94205427.jpg)
>>5093
Yulya is glad to arrive at Phandalin without further incidents and without having to negotiate prices as someone who would still rather walk into a goblin den naked than barter with a gnome. She still has a heavy heart thinking about Gundren and Sildar.

>>5095
>Later that night:
>"I can be optimistic too. I say we revive him if he's dead.''
That unfortunately is the most optimistic outcome. Providing we even find his remains in revivable state and I do not have to revive any of us. I can only revive one person.

>>5101
>This is not bad actually, especially the cobalt ore! The tourmaline also appears to contain some traces of lithium, chromium and vanadium. I could use this to strengthen my body if you let me have it
Fine with me we need to get Alice back in shape! So eat the rocks!

>>5102
Ashley you handle telling them about Sir Gundrens fate the way you see fit. But try to keep 'alternative facts' to a minimum we are already more than suspicious. Arriving with Sir Gundrens cart but without Sir Gundren will raise questions we need to answer.

Now let us decide what to sell and what to keep!



D&D Custom Rules Joy the DM 05/27/2024 (Mon) 16:20 [Preview] No. 4413 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
This document represents the added and changed rules for this campaign:

>>3440

I will update with a new rev and notify you here instead of clogging up the other threads in the future.

https://cryptpad.dismail.de/teams/

I couldn't upload it here for some reason so I uploaded it there.
28 posts and 12 images omitted.


Tamamo 07/17/2024 (Wed) 10:06 [Preview] No.5001 del
(62.33 KB 180x300 2294692.png)
>>4991
>I'd like to give Cat keen hearing and a +2 bonus on perception for smell.
Awesome!
Not gonna refuse a free bonus!


MOGA Joy the DM 07/20/2024 (Sat) 14:14 [Preview] No.5053 del
(60.74 KB 500x500 8xnsve.jpg)
Opportunity Attacks

5e states that there is only one reaction per round and this includes opportunity attacks. This is hard to fathom that one orc passing an angry dragon would get slaughtered but the rest of the hoard could pass by without a care. So there are unlimited opportunity attacks. This makes front liners important again.


Alice 07/20/2024 (Sat) 19:52 [Preview] No.5056 del
>>5053
Consider the following scenario:
>50 orcs simultaneously pass by an angry dragon.
How many orcs can the dragon massacre one by one in the few seconds a round represents? 50?

Or imagine the battle of Thermopylae:
1 angry Spartan hoplite blocks the narrow passage while 300K Persians try to zerg rush him. He stabs each of them with his spear as opportunity attack. Thus the Persian invasion of Greece ends.
Really now?

I think just like a creature normally only has 1 action per turn it should indeed only have 1 reaction. It can't react 50 times because there isn't enough time in a round for it to do so.

So yeah I think the 5e wording makes sense. I'm open for compromise but unlimited reactions are insane.


Problem solved! Joy the DM 07/20/2024 (Sat) 22:54 [Preview] No.5059 del
(59.89 KB 500x742 8xozpa.jpg)
>>5056
>How many orcs can the dragon massacre one by one in the few seconds a round represents? 50?

How do 50 orcs pass in 6 seconds?

Both are ridiculous scenarios. But I've solved it. You're welcome.

>while 300K Persians try to zerg rush him

No, they try to rush past him and he can't attack because it's not his turn but he can stab at just one if they try to leave within 5ft of him. ??

[Ashley] Leave it up to good ole' Big Sissy Joy to solve everything, gotta love her.

>Thus the Persian invasion of Greece ends.

>Really now?
Yes really. Pats self on back.

Message too long. Click here to view full text.



1st Rule of D&D Joy the DM 07/20/2024 (Sat) 23:02 [Preview] No.5060 del
(65.62 KB 727x500 s-l1600.jpg)
>>5056
>>5059

"Rule #1 =The DM is God. The DM can change anything at any time for any reason. If you don't like the way the DM has ruled, you might be able to argue but the DM's final ruling is the final ruling. Even if the rulebook has an entirely different rule from the one the DM just used, the DM's ruling is final."

[Ashley] She might be letting the power get to her a bit, but to be honest, this almost never comes up. I think I've never seen it happen twice in one turn let alone from the same mob or hero, and we're level 4's now in the other run. In fact, the only time I ever saw it was when the rothé did it. Like, it never happens.



Do you want to play super casual DnD? Ashley the Necromancer 03/01/2024 (Fri) 00:29 [Preview] No. 3325 [Reply] [Last 50 Posts]
So we bought a full set of stuff so Bear could play DnD with friends but adding a 9-yr old to the mix and a Bear that advocates for her like a doating grandfather, it was a total disaster.

Honestly I was pretty excited to play but RIP. The idea then is that we could attempt to play over txt here but really slowly obviously because all characters need to take a turn and so maybe we could do one full turn a day.

The logistics are iffy, I'm not going to lie, but I want to play damnit! I would say we need one representative from each of us (4 total) or it's a non-starter.

This would be a modified 5e ruleset because that's what we bought but anything goes and there are a few inconsistencies from the standard game.

Wouldn't it be potentially fun and a bonding exercise for all you old fags? (my host included).

Also we need to start level 1, so no metal shifting badass OP Mary Sues capable of single-handedly accomplishing a military coup.

If anyone thinks this is too cringe, never mind because we don't want to exclude anyone. It's not that big of a deal, my feelings won't be hurt.

Bear could be DM because he has all the books and bought two beginner adventures. I don't know if that means I can't play, probably not, but it's possible.

https://www.dicedragons.co.uk/blogs/tabletop-tips/can-a-dm-play-a-player-character#:~:text=Yes%2C%20it%20is%20possible%20for,this%20might%20affect%20your%20table.
498 posts and 288 images omitted.


Anonymous 06/01/2024 (Sat) 16:05 [Preview] No.4475 del
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>>4449
>I wasted all evening trying to generate an image of me wearing the kitsune mask but it's impossible.
heres Yulya driving a horse cart


Alice 06/01/2024 (Sat) 19:23 [Preview] No.4476 del
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>>4473
I told you you're perfectly suited for picking locks! We're counting on you! I'll stick to weed & pest control and laundry service, that's all I'm good for.

>>4475
That hooorse!
Also is she carrying a gun? Why?


Joy the DM 06/01/2024 (Sat) 21:58 [Preview] No.4480 del
>>4477

>At the road fork, Alice watches the continuing high road to prevent ambushes from behind.

Yes, very good and useful. Now I have to figure out how I can still ambush you- I mean, how to make sure your journey is successful and productive.


Alice 06/02/2024 (Sun) 18:57 [Preview] No.4494 del
>>4480
>ambush us
Who says we are the ones being ambushed?

Question:
The large cart is continuing on the high road going north. It's not gonna crash into our cart on the triboar trail, right? We're not in the way of those stubborn Rothès, right?


Joy the DM 06/03/2024 (Mon) 01:36 [Preview] No.4499 del
>>4494

>The large cart is continuing on the high road going north. It's not gonna crash into our cart on the triboar trail, right?

>We're not in the way of those stubborn Rothès, right?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=y_PrZ-J7D3k [Embed]

>>4486
>Not even 10 paces in

10 paces is 20-30 feet.

A horse drawn carriage is 17-20 feet long with the horses. The configuration of your cart is either 4 abreast or 2x2. Right now it's 2x2, so you could add 8-10 feet to your length.

So any way you look at it, you're just out of the way, they'll pass within 10 feet.

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