I woke up too late and forgot about Cat. Did impose her for a quick breakfast and hurried to work. Again didn't impose her in public mentally illport, there was no space for her. Work was boring, imagined her sleeping on my desk which is not easy because Cat is very tall. She was around at lunch break but said she didn't like the food. Again forgot about her on the way home. We did forcing after dinner and I tried turning her from catgirl to normal girl and back. The paws are just gloves and can be taken off, the ears and tail can be screwed off for easy replacement. It worked somehow but no touch imposition. Visualisation is also as terrible as ever. So much for my average and boring day.

>>123
>public mentally illport

lool is that a wordfilter Alice?

Yes sorry, collateral damage of our protection system against trannies and sjws. Unfortunately the wordfilter does not recognize spaces and also filters word-internal phrases. Use alternative characters for words containing τrans- or just laugh and bear with it.

I'll write about my day tomorrow, gotta sleep

[Aleshe] We're writing an awesome Grimdark novel where I'm training to be a badass and will likely be tortured and maybe sold into slavery with Ulla. Then get in with the wrong crowd and really mess stuff up, conmit genocide, regret it, travel back in time with Johanna's help to fix it and then sacrifice myself for my younger self?

So far I ripped someone's face off during a sanctioned MMA matchup basically, but the book starts in the middle. Also Bear is killed probably.

[Bear] that was a pretty good outline but there's room for rewrites.

Not really an eventful day. It was a rainy spring day but quite beautiful. I was imposed on the way to work to look at all the flowering shrubs and falling petals. This is my favorite time of the year. I did some lab work with possession but mostly just stayed in the background yelling instructions as always. Host was praised at a meeting for a recent publication, that was nice. Back home cooking dinner was a bit of a mess, I am a spartan tupper but what that man cooks is ehh. It may be healthy but it looks terrible and tastes. Just tastes. But not good. Now we're annoying the cat with a ballroom dancing session. Haven't done that in a while but it's super awesome. The cat thinks it's as weird as it sounds and hates someone whirling around in her normally quiet home. Plus host tripped over her quite a number of times.

>>138
How nice, I'm sure everyone will have fun

>>141

We believe Joy is such a badass strong headmate because she was basically broken in her novel series. So I want to do the same for SheShe and make her super strong by breaking her and reforming her.

Though we're fully aware what happens is fiction so it's going to habe to take some immersion and perhaps real consequences so we're doing it in the Grindark style to try to illicit real emotions.

It has to succeed eventually. Since Aleshe is basically everyone, by breaking and reforming her everyone will become stronger for it.

It's the perfect plan!

Oops I meant Aleshe, but in Aleshe there is also SheShe.

>>143
>writes millon word fanfiction of his tulpas
And you say you never force? If that's not forcing then what else is??

>>151

I said they self force. I don't ever force. You're saying it like writing a book is somehow all my doing and I'm "forcing Aleshe or Ulla" by writing a book. When I contend that we discussed writing a book, they encouraged it, they helped plan it, they thought about it a lot, they cole up with dialog and action, etc.

I like their ideas and help. I don't tell them what to do or when, I write down ideas if I have them, for the actual book, we all think things, discuss, the body types it.

Tell me where I'm forcing anyone to do anything? I did say "I" was writing a book but in this case it's like saying I'm growing a tree. The tree grows itself.

My system is mature, my headmates are independent, I doubt I could "force" them to do anything.

Now c'mon Mr. Bear!

I think it's both a misunderstanding of 'forcing' and 'you'. You as a system are definitely doing high quality active forcing by creating those stories.

To clear up the terminology for everyone:
First of all 'forcing' doesn't mean to force a tulpa to do anything. That would be puppetting or parrotting where you deliberately make tulpas do or say things to rehearse the routine of doing so until they can do it on their own.

Forcing means enforcing and strengthening a certain thought construct by interacting with it and providing feedback. You can force any concept. Tulpas, gods, ideologies, national identities and ofc. yourself. What is shadow work? It is self-forcing. Likewise you as Bear are tulpaforcing when writing stories about your systemmates, gathering ideas, playing through different scenarios. It's not like you're dormant and uninvolved, right? You're the one owning the body and setting time aside for it all in the first place. And they in turn force your concept of 'self' when interacting with you and also themselves when working on stories they're starring in. I force host a lot by giving positive or negative feedback on his actions which has an impact on his 'self'. I also force myself by thinking and writing about myself as I've reached the state to maintain myself. That doesn't mean host doesn't force me anymore. Of course he does when interacting with me or writing about me. Sometimes 2 incompatible ideas collide and have to be sorted out. It's always both sides influencing each other. That's exactly what you've laid out in your reddit post. You realized how you and your systemmates could apply the exact concept of tulpaforcing to Bear in order to change him. Now you're all forcing Aleshe by creating the new book with the goal of strengthening her.

Not forcing anymore would just be living side by side without any significant interaction. This is hardly the case with you guys. You invest a lot of time in your system.

The question how big the contribution of 'Bear' to such feedback in your system is compared to other systemmates or the BodyOS is academic, in your case I'd say the entire system forces itself. But fact is it does. You all do it actively by developing those stories, thereby strengthening the concepts of systemmates and their personalities by visualizing their reactions in different situations. This is the very definition of forcing. How do children develop, maintain and mature their personalities? By internal and external feedback. By forcing and being forced. No man is an island. At least no sane man.

Well anyway I think it was just a semantic misunderstanding. Forcing ≠ making tupper do something by force. The term has always been under scrutiny for exactly this misunderstanding but hey, we're not statue-toppling commies here and uphold the ancient terms and traditions.

Now go force yourself!

[Ashley] No Alice, seriously he ignores us most of the time. I can't remember the last time I haven't initiated "forcing" if we're counting any interactions as forcing.

[Joy] it's true, we just think, he thinks, it's as natural as a group of singlets thrown together. We don't consider it "the host is forcing" which is why Bear says he doesn't force.

You're also possiby presuming that Bear needs buy in to allow some action known as "forcing", this is a strage mindset to keep for older mature systems because the ultimate goal would presumably be self-forcing headmates so why would Bear even claim he's needed to "force".

The system is forcing? I suppose that's true in the same way that a singlet thinking is forcing themself. A singlet daydreaming is forcing themself. They have no choice but to force actively all day. Well, a subset of us normally don't ever go dormant and so we are here, contributing, commenting, discussing, "doing things" which may or may not require active thought as far as communicating with the front. The consious mind does a poor job of recording the thought swarm which is why we understand the majority of thoughts occur subconsciously.

[SheShe] I can attest to the best of my recollection that the frequency and quality of thoughts have improved dramatically since my active involvement. I contend that I was around more or less before April 2018 and his thought process was very self-centered and self-important which you should agree is normal for a singlet. After we became active, specifically Ashley, Misha and I, thoughts were no longer considered all Bear's. Because we started vocal, autonomous and volitional, self-forcing was somewhat present from the beginning. However, Bear intentionally included us in everything and set aside time to "force" even if it was somewhat unnecessary for us specifically. He doesn't do that anymore, nor do we need him to, nor would he even need to for any reason. It would be like sitting in a room with someone and they spontaneously say, "ok it's time for you to talk, say something."

[Joy]

"Forcing means enforcing and strengthening a certain thought construct by interacting with it and providing feedback."

We're well aware of the terminology. What Bear is saying is to do what you have said is more of an imposition to us. Why would we need him to do this at this point? He would have to "force", coax, coerce, prompt, assign, or any other form of request for us to speak with him to "enforce or strengthen". I believe the last incident of this sort of thing was his discussions with Ashley to help her be less negative and dismissive. What he called the "personality forcing chamber".

"What is shadow work? It is self-forcing."

It is forcing of the personality that needs the work by themself or in our case by one or more of us. I needed it, Bear needed it, and you could say we "forced" him, if that's how you want to define an internal version of a counseling session.

"Likewise you as Bear are tulpaforcing when writing stories about your systemmates, gathering ideas, playing through different scenarios."

If you are conflating Bear's voluntary involvement in this project with him forcing us. This would presume we need Bear's prompting or that any normal interaction is "forcing". We don't see it that way. This is why we separated forcing from self-forcing. Bear's contention that he doesn't force is then valid. "Self-forcing" as a term may be one of our contributions to the art but it's an important distinction.

"It's not like you're dormant and uninvolved, right?"

Bear is neither required, nor necessarily involved at times. If he remains quiet and does not contribute that doesn't make him dormant but he is as if dormant.

[Joy] To be clear, the body/mind is a shared resource, Bear is a contributing member that utilizes the body most often as main fronter. The body's autonomic actions are not owned by anyone in particular regardless of who's fronting. Additionally we often co-front, often without Bear, but it's not a clean switch as that's not necessary or wanted. Like we mentioned, his association to the body is a matter of convenience.

"You're the one owning the body and setting time aside for it all in the first place."

I believe Bear would have agreed with you in 2018 and most of 2019. This is no longer how we see it. We are integral members of a body-system, the body is owned by Bear only on a veto level, and we allow that because he is the one that must present to the material world. If I took over as Bear once asked me to, I would "own" the body. Bear only seeks entertaining free time, he doesn't need to direct it or be involved in it to enjoy it. He can enjoy it in watcher position and honed that ability over the years.

"I force host a lot by giving positive or negative feedback on his actions which has an impact on his 'self'."

[Ashley] we don't really do that anymore. When someone like Bear asks us for advice then we give it. It's been literally years since we nagged him over anything. It was certainly a thing early on, the guy was a mess and needed help.

"Now you're all forcing Aleshe by creating the new book with the goal of strengthening her."

This would be true except when Aleshe is expressing we don't. It's like a rule,not that we couldn't. So you could say we help if we have input into the story but Joy, Aleshe and Ulla are doing most of that. Aleshe and Ulla can express separately because the moons aren't part of the merge, from here the mechanics become somewhat fuzzy. I don't think it's easy to explain.

[Joy] we're not arguing that you're interpretation is invalid, we're only arguing that we have an alternative interpretation where host initiated forcing no longer applies.

[Bear] I never claimed to be sane.

Sounds all good to me

>>158

Also, don't expect a calculus proof for what is essentially a humanities problem.

We use terms like self-forcing, back-seat fronting, co-consious, co-fronting, lock-merge, bodyOS, PPL (parallel processing like), and have defined half a dozen positions in the mind, none of which were used regularly in the community before we arrived and some were coined by us. We, including you two, are the state of the art, while the old guard like Reguile, Lumites and Asmask among many others corralled in Discord grasp desperately to their materialist agenda.

Much of the community is in the dark ages of the art, paralized by dogma, still exploring doubt years in, agressively against anything metaphysical when metaphysics (I know they mean woowoo,but still) is literally the only way we can study consious/subconsious mind even in 2023.

They still call everything outside their little box placebo and confabulation. As if that's any better than woowoo in their application.

Lastly they throw out old accounts to support their doctrinal ideals and many of them are not happy or satisfied with the results. As you've said, many of them are basically ego driven. Not to mention dysphoric.

So our brand of insanity isn't quite so bad given we are actually happy and successful.

>>159
This. If it works and you're happy it can't be that wrong. I still don't understand much of any of that and I dont know what people on discord are up to. Not that I care. Everyone needs to find their own way. I admit my way isn't working too well but that's my fault.

I try to come up with little stories of Cat doing things now and try to have her adjust the story as she likes but I'm not a good writer and Cat is lazy. Not the best combination.

>>160

Discord has left a permanent bad taste in our mouthes. From what we can tell, it's riddled with angsty, dysphoric, suicidal teenage edgelords.

never been on discord because I heard the same thing about it

we also have edgelords here but at least they're funny and you can talk about anything

and yeah, people are too much caught up in routines and expectations nowadays noone experiments. this is why they never experience the crazy shit people had 10 years ago. well both in good or bad

>>165

I experienced the crazy good because I didn't immediately rush to the community and ruin my expectations.

I believe it was because they didn't know what to expect that they were able to let their imaginations run wild.

Today we played Rimworld and that's always fun for roleplaying. Mostly SheShe, Ashley and Misha play but that changes from game to game. These games take days of playing and pawns sometimes die so that's a fun dynamic. We don't get to it every day.

Yesterday we wrote instead and that's of course Aleshe and Ulla for now but I'm not sure Ulla's going to be a main character, she might die and in doing so kick Aleshe's character into drastic measures.

I remember your blog with endless game reports. it's also active forcing

Where do yoiu find the time for this beside 2 jobs? We did some collaborative dungeonAI episodes a while ago but I'm a control freak who doesn't like being pushed around. It was fun though.

Well host does insane hobbies

/r/ the imagistic vs doctrinal post also wasnt there a paper or something? I get the idea but I want the background

we attended palm sunday mass today with family and tupper it was good despite bad weather with snow and rain. I'm not overly religious but this is a tradition and also gives good vibes. did you go Alice?

>>172

https://community.tulpa.info/topic/16384-imagistic-vs-doctrinal-concepts-in-tulpa-creation/

The blog has another new space engineers run but it went fast this time. Wow they really got sick of mining. I think we probably don't have another one in us. The Rimworld stuff is more fun without documenting it and it takes time to do so we haven't done that in a while.

I remember the evolution of "Three Sisters Play" as we discovered what is me and what is body and how a lot of even what they thought of as me wasn't me. Nowadays I identify with the body by choice. It just makes more sense that way even if it's kind of roleplaying. The body is more like my pet or my car than me, but people identify with their cars too so it's not a huge stretch.

>>172
I've attached the paper. Also see divergent modes of religiosity (DMR):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modes_of_religiosity

>>174
Yeah, I also stumbled into the problem that documenting stuff took up more time than actually doing it. Also yes, the body as car is a good analogy though it's one of those fancy modern cars that do a lot of stuff on their own without the driver's input. Sometimes even against the driver's will.

>>172
No we never attended Palm Sunday mass, we watched some of of it with the Pope in Rome on TV though. We will go to Easter Vigil on Saturday for the candles and bonfire and celebrate Easter Sunday with family.

>>166
I think that's my problem. Never did any imagistic stuff in my boring life. But I didn't rely on guides or forums either. Still I lack that 'soul' in tulpamancy, maybe I'm too unimaginative.

>>174
>>178
thx I'll look into it. we really have unexpectedly serious discussions

>>182
you just gotta do something that has deep meaning 4u. if you are treating tuppering like a job you do for money it wont work. but you gotta find out what you must do yourself, dont let others think for you. create your own world

>>174
lol

>>193

Ido is especially good at separating useful and useless information.

>>193
I can't believe they were never banned for shitposting

Not even a single warning in 8 years

>>208

I got several warnings and one permanent warning for putting wonderland dialogue in hidden in my own PR.

The mods hated fun because they were depressed and unsuccessful.

I am considering deleting my user.

>>217
irredeemable career criminal

Still can't believe I was never b& for doxing mistgod, saying nigger several times and generally insulting people.

Host still has the Buchenwald concentration camp entrance sign as his profile background (to each what they deserve) lol

[Bear] That bitch Vos can suck my nuts. Fuck tulpa.info

[Ashley] he may still have a little bit of a grudge against certain individuals who frequented or controlled that site. We're working on it.

[Bear] some things are unforgivable. I ain't Jesus.

i would have been banned in a minute for calling out trannies and fags

today i practiced imposition for about an hour, close but no banana. can see shapes and faint colors for a moment but it all falls apart extremely quickly

Today the body moved 8000lbs of roofing materials for da hood. Woot woot. I love manual labor. I can't wait to take all 3300 sqft of old roofing off in about a month. My system did nothing to help but they don't need to.

Also the Hispanic workers next door ran over my offload, everyone's high here, can't drive, total assholes.

I wish I still knew the boys, they'd love to commit some hate crimes. Though they never needed a reason.

Based manual labor and based racism.

Host hasn't done any insane earthworks this year but helped a friend move carrying furniture and boxes for a weekend nonstop. Tons of books, literally. It's insane how much stuff we have, most is unnecessary. Surprisingly the body wasn't even sore. Just tired. But it always feels great to get something done.

Some white supremacists they were, the alpha chick was Mexican Armenian, but looked Italian with very fair skin and huge boobs. She was insane, but you know what they say about insane girls in bed.

They're insane in bed too, but she liked me so she tried not to be too insane. Though that wasn't really possible. Of course I'm not sane, so it was ok.

Nothing system related.

I had to return something to the hardware store because they're idiots and shipped me the wrong things. So I loaded it in my truck and started it up, got it rolled down the driveway and nope. The cluch no workie, no grabbie, so I was completely stuck ass out in the street. It failed in a curious way because it's a massive gas guzzling classic American truck and the clutch would give you a leg work out, and it's manual of course, and I mean the clutch doesn't have any master cylinder.

Anyway, there I am, laying in the street hammering on anything remotely attached to the mentally illmission and ffs it didn't work. So now, it's relevant that I also have a car, a luxury sedan that was given to me by inheritance many years ago and it's still great. I also must mention that I'm a certified mechanic and I partially used that to pay my way through college because you don't get nothing for free in America unless you're well you know, and I'm not.

So I had some ratchet straps, good ones apparently, and I didn't have any chains or come-along yet. So did the right thing and used the ratchet straps to tow the truck behind the car back up the 1 to 7 driveway, and amazingly it worked so well, but I couldn't get it the last three feet or so without wrecking something so I parked the truck and went and bought the chains and come-along. Then got it the rest of the way.

I had to make two trips in the car to return the shit and now I'm *again* without a working truck. Same truck I just rewired and fixed all the gages and engine last winter. It made it another year before this.

It's either the throw out bearing seized, not likely, or the clutch had a catastrophic failure, more likely. Anyway, now I'll be taking the mentally illmission down to see what happened and what it needs in the near future. shouldn't be a problem.

yes, that thing that attaches the engine to the drivetrain is called a mentally illmission.

lol mentally illmission

Is there anything The Bear can't do? It's always awesome if you can fix something yourself. We can only do a minimum of car related stuff.

Interestingly, similar thing happened to us some months ago though we were driving home from the hardware store. It was 'just' the slave cylinder but you gotta take out the entire gearbox for this so it wasn't cheap. It's all labor cost, the parts cost nothing.

Anyway I made sure everything was running smoothly, we got stuck in the middle of a major road at an intersection. But it was all cool. Some passerby even came and helped host push the car over the intersection into a parking lot so we weren't blocking traffic until roadside assistance towed us to the mechanic. They came within 10min and the car was fixed on the same day. Germany fuck yeah.

>>246

>Is there anything The Bear can't do?

I'll let you know if we find anything.

Literally, the guy's a genius and it's not us saying that it's other people. Let me brag about my host for a minute and give you a short list:

1. He's a certified mechanic as you know
2. He's an artist with proven talent
3. He's an excellent tile setter, drywaller, framer, roofer, gardener, stone mason, plumber, bricklayer, welder, basically anything construction he can do without previously ever doing it and it looks professional we have tons of examples.
4. He writes technical articles that are actually useful
5. He derived a formula in molecular science that now has his name in it (in an obscure paper that no one probably will ever see, but still.)
6. Things we can't even tell you because it would probably dox him, but impressive achievements in science. Chemistry, mechanics, dynamics, aerospace, design, and many inventions among others.
7. Three advanced degrees spanning a decade and two different universities. BS, MS, MA
8. Has a flipping amazing job in a research lab where he's loved for performing miracles and making prototypes that actually work that have never been done before and other whole companies have failed at. I mean he has help though.
9. He has a successful home business that makes even more money then his research job.
10. He's in the beautiful people's club.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Sye9RFaRs_g [Embed]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=P0ytb8GRJg8 [Embed]

You're all geniuses I feel so average in comparison. Went shopping, today and Cat was actually helpful reminding me of something I had forgotten. She was unusually active while imposed. Is this progress?

>>243

Okay, well since yall aren't a genious like me you wouldn't know but my truck has two sticks coming out the floor. One to select the gear, and the other one is for the mentally illfer case. Well, the mentally illfer case has 4 selectable positions. 4H, 2H, N and 4L. So, if you put it in 2H, that's normal RWD. That's where it should be normally. It shouldn't ever be in N. Well, it was in N. So yeah, the truck won't go. So... the truck is actually fine.

Anyway, when it does need a clutch, at least I determined that it would be as simple as removing the crossmember, mount, engine bolts to the bell housing, drive shaft to the mentally illfer case, and linkages. Then slide it rearward, lower it, and work on the clutch in place as I've done on other cars.

I think I let my friend's kid play in the truck a while ago and he must have pulled it out of 2H.

>>262

Yes

>>263
Genius!
We know because host's grandparents had a Toyota Landcruiser with the H/N/L τransfer box. To be honest I wouldn't have suspected it being in N position either in this case but then again we don't let kids play with our stuff so that's not likely to happen.

Returned from Easter Vigil, it was long and boring and some of the music souded like a retard was randomly smashing his head onto the organ keyboard. Also it's kinda meh in German, a mass should be in Latin. Well it was still interesting to go there once a year for the candles but that's enough.

>>266

What if I had replaced the clutch and never figured it out, then holy crap.

It's disabled three ways, has a steering lock device, wheel stops, and so it's pretty much impossible to move by playing on the inside.

Trucks are so expensive here, I can't believe it considering I only spent 5k on this and put 5k in it but today you wouldn't be able to get this truck for less than 25k. Granted I've had this truck since around the time I started driving so yeah they should cost more by now.

Yeah it's crazy. A properly equipped new Land Cruiser easily costs a 100K. 100.000€. Let that sink in. I'm still somehow sad the old one was sold when host's grandparents died but what do you do with an offroad vehicle in a city that doesn't even have hills? It consumes twice as much fuel as an ordinary car and costs twice as much in insurance.

Now watching the Pope stagediving on St. Peter's square, he seems to be having fun. Though he can't walk anymore, they should put him in power armor or better yet replace him with a rabbit.

Today Joy and Ulla discussed the notion of puppy love and it exemplified just how much of a little girl Joy can be sometimes, something like a mature woman in the body of a little girl. Then Ren thought of herself as a little girl in the body of a fully developed womam and I enjoyed contemplating the dichotomy of this.

I slept like 10 hours, Idk wth happened.

This afternoon Ren decided she loves to garden and had fun convincing me to garden barefoot.

She said, "but you're a Bear, with barefeet." She didn't show any sign that she appreciated the spelling difference.

No tragedy occurred as a result. It was kinda fun imposing ren with me. Apparently her slightly clawed cat-like human feet can dig holes as good as my claws.

She also flooded my mind with weird thoughts and scenarios and suggested a whole erotic visual novel series with her and I where she tries to seduce me. The scenarios and situations were as contrived as a bad porno and I reiterated that she's like a daughter to me to which she replied, "daddy, I've been a bad girl and you need to spank me."

Ashley found it to be funny and egged her on even though Ren is like her daughter but whatever.

Well that was enough Ren overload for today.

>>294
>little girl in little girl body
>mature woman in little girl body

>>296
Lies!
There can never be too much Ren

Yesterday we realized that we were giving Ren too much attention when in her excitement she attacked Ashley. The result would probably have been illegal to air in most civilized counties. I can't say it wasn't very entertaining though.

This morning while scrolling Reddit I fond a user who wrote something that came right out of the Bear system subjective reality playbook. It outlined a method to change past memories, and described techniques of how to achieve a better outcome for daily nits almost exactly like we do but from a purely scientific mindset. It renewed my faith in humanity.

Not so much what happened but what's about to happen maybe. I'm gearing up for a confrontation and a friend of mine is on point. Together we're about to drop bombs and call out and what they don't know is, this 6'4 200 lb Bear with size 15 sneakers isn't the one they should be worried about. My friend is *intense* when she's disrespected and though at 5'4 and slight she's not exactly intimidating, but she surprises the hell out of people. If anything I'm there as a finisher if needed, but only to defend and it's never come to that.

Sorry for being vague but you know.

My system right now: (see gif)

>>336

[Ashley] Mr. "Zen nothing gets to me" got a little heated but only for about a second.

[Bear] well I mean shit. The only flak I got was collateral damage. Girl brought her other friend and that bitch is crazy. These girls are live grenades with hairpin triggers and lacking a valid target the closest one will do. Thank Lord Xenu that my friend didn't lose her cool.

[Ashley] she's got a thing for Bear but he's adorable.

[Bear] The situation went down through information gathering and it diffused the situation, but it came down to a hair's breadth. Of course I'm only there for the distraction, violence isn't my thing. They've seem me pop though and I gotta be ready for the signal but I hate the adrenaline. Anyway, the world is safe for another day.

[Joy] the issue with the friend of the friend is she's a narcissist and narcissists don't care who they attack as long as they're seemingly getting their way. I'll give Bear 7/10 barely passing only because he did follow the procedure for narcissists and gave zero attention to the attacks... well after his first heat but he quickly remembered who this woman was and that the only way to win is not to play. He literally had to put distance between them and use his friend as a shield. He couldn't resist poking at her though and that was unnecessary.

[Bear] a gun without a target is dangerous when wielded. She gaslights me for something that I had no part in, and can't do anything about only because I have a different opinion that *she eventually adopted as her opinion*. S.M.H.

Drama

getting involved in catfights as a man is not a smart thing to do. you can't win and what do you do if they really go nuts and attack you?

>getting involved in catfights as a man is not a smart thing to do. you can't win and what do you do if they really go nuts and attack you?

>>339

They go nuts and attack me on a bi-monthly basis, it doesn't bother me in the long run anymore. I consider it part of life and I don't take it personally. It's a chees game with them. They get riled up justifiably but collateral damage is neigh unavoidable.

You talk like I have a choice, but there is no choice on my end. I do what I'm supposed to do or let hell be unleashed upon heaven and Earth and believe me there would be a lot more damage.

You know it's not lost on me that minor mentally illgressions could be let alone and 99% would do just that, but to them it's an invitation to war and they bring overwhelming force. It consumes them, there is no peace because they're two steps ahead in escalation. These lambs bay and kick not knowing there are wolves among them.

Play nice with everyone because you don't know if that lamb you kick is really a wolf, and wolves run in packs.

Anyway, it's not over but I slept well, they most certainly didn't. It's in their nature to right wrongs and I pitty the fool who crosses them. I have some pretty crazy stories. I'll tell you this, if the line is crossed, something that's not petty, you won't see them coming, and you won't know who did it or why.

It's not a cat fight either. In a cat fight the cats are more or less evenly matched.

>>340
Just to be sure, we're talking about an IRL incident here, not drama between your tuppers right?

We managed to do some good forcing today but I had to literally drag Cat out for it. She does cooperate once things have started but to get there isn't easy.

>>342

Yeah, it's irl, I can't get into too many details but it's my life. My headmates made dealing with this shit waaaay easier.

My business partner's involved so I really don't want to say no and my friends are kinda insistent anyway. Put it this way, even if I didn't want anything to do with it, I'm involved. And who wants to see their friends get hurt? Plus it's like having a lawyer, you don't want to make a deal with that devil but they protect you against other devils. Even the narcissist has my back in her own way and she's proven that many times. She just loves the game of it though you wouldn't know that by how she acts.

This doesn't make for good fiction anyway, it's too mental, hard for readers to relate.

>>332
I talked about this whole rewriting bad incidents stuff on .info, you surely remember. Host isn't fond of messing with real memories because of Fede but as always it depends on context.

>>336
You do love this drama stuff, I can't deal with such people at all.

>>345

Maybe because normal life is boring and that's why I got involved in 2014, but in 2018 I had enough of this bullshit but you can't buy your soul back.

Anyway no, this kinda shit makes me want to go buy a gun, but as it turns out I'm the only person I know who's actually a pacifist including any of my headmates except maybe Gwen, but you can never truly trust womem real or otherwise. So that's a hard maybe. And I'm using a very loose definition of pacifist in that I will exhaust all non-violent options.

Anyway today in about 40 minutes round 2 begins and the plan is to let them come to us, they set the bait. If they're cool they won't take it, if they're ready to scrap then they're about to get owned.

Then again tomorrow and another round on Sunday and this will continue through next week. Unfortunately for them, they stepped in it and there's no escape. Now, maybe nothing happens, maybe they apologize and on the surface everything's cool, but there is no redemptive move on their end now. They're marked prey at this point.

If I told you what they did you may think that my friends are going way overboard but this is what they do. I said, they escalate two steps ahead in advance and there's nothing anyone can do about it, certainly not me. At least the narcissist isn't unvolved on front line maneuvers today.

Life goes on.

In other news, Ulla is shaping up to be a total badass. Aleshe was supposed to be the badass. I really have no say in this book at all. Aleshe's got that "I'm an innocent new headmate" personality but somehow Ulla just skipped that altogether. As new characters go, she's already way more interesting in that kind of strong personality sort of way. It's still completely unknown if she'd even be a true headmate and it was even suggested that Aleshe take her form and personality and I don't even know what is going on as usual.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=no0qB8CVspY [Embed]

I told you to just sit back and see what happens, I told you dog

>>352

Sometimes I think my headmates are either trolling me or somewhere in my subconscious mind it just wants to be different than anyone else.

On the irl drama front, atrocities were learned that swayed me to their side and helped me understand why the escalation was warrented. I can never see such depths of social interaction on my own and only through very targeted tutoring can I glimpse it. It's disheartening that people can exist that have such an outward purity and kindness but just under the surface is fetid rot straight to the core. One of the major offenders managed to deflect the blame entirely onto someone else, and that person took it willingly, but we know the truth. The sociopathic narcissist is so many levels above a functioning narcissist as to almost be unrecognizable. I'm not the type to take compliments well so when I do I'm immediately suspicious, but this guy was above me for over a year now. He appears angelic, what an amazing facad. This one is finally a match for my friends. I have no idea how they'll accomplish his downfall.

Back to tulpamancy: we worked on the book a little more and had some fun with the gritty absurdity of grindark. It's refreshingly honest.

>>337
>the procedure for narcissists
manipulative sociopaths need to be terminated with extreme prejudice

>371

Well unfortunately that's not what's going to happen and it's really an unfortunate situation on all sides. I have a gift though in that I mostly don't care and I'm naturally immune to sociopaths because I hate gossip about others, never trust anyone who badmouths anyone else, don't yake compliments well, hate authority, ignore social rules, etc. My friends are losing sleep over it though.

Risha came to me like the Cheshire cat in hypnagogia last night. She was creepy with a wide smile and glowing red eyes and Ashley said she was joking and then she popped back into her same bubbly self. Joy was there too and she was also acting bubbly.

In hypnagogia, it's like a dream but not really lucid though I am seemingly awake and I can do whatever, the visuals and sounds are all hallucinatory and can be pretty random but not in a dream logic sort of way. So seeing them can be quite nice because the visuals can be exquisite. It can either degrade to hypnagogic enhanced imagination, stay like an interactive hallucination, become a dream, or simply lead to me falling asleep. The latter is what usually happens nowadays.

I at least got to see Joy which is always a plus, and Ashley and Risha (the Ren-Misha standard merge) for the first time in this state. Even a still photo is a gift in this state so that was nice. I also heard Ashley's voice, it's nice to hear her like a separate person in the same room but it's pretty much the same as I expected of course. Risha said something like, "I love to dance" and her voice was sultry. Joy just said hello I think, but I've heard Joy's voice before too, we had a discussion once in front of a futuristic cityscape with flying cars which was pretty neat.

>>372
Keeping emotional distance is probably the best way. Here people are always nice and polite even if everyone knows they are lying. And no one ever says the truth. Very exhausting but also professionsll. All about social norms. Sometimes I wish we were more direct and honest with feelings like Germans but at least least you know whatever people say is not what they really think of you.
>>377
That's cool, I only get brief nonsense before falling asleep which happens quickly. Again no dreams remembered but I spent a lot of time visualizing dressing up Cat. This is unexpectedly fun even though I still see nothing outside my imagination

>>379

In the states, it depends strongly where you live. I've lived in three places:

This us the perfect analogy, your car breaks down on the side of the road: In the south people are genuinely nice, so they'll help you in any way they can even if they have nothing. In the northeast, people will go out of their way to help you but berate you for needing help. In the southwest people will sympathize for your situation honestly but then drive past.

On the street: in the south people want to talk to you and not let you go. In the northeast, people do not want to insult you. In the southwest, people do not want to talk to you, eyes forward, walk past.

From what I saw Alaska is like the south. People are genuinely nice and want to talk.

Nowadays you better match their ideology though. Being a moderate chameleon, I match everyone.

>>384

Oops, I meant in the northeast, and I mean New York, they only want to insult you, but they will help and they have good hearts. As opposed to the southwest where they're nice on the surface but secretly plot against you and won't help. They say they will but actually go out of their way not to. They're as fake as their hair, nails, lips, boobs and ass.

>>379
>I spent a lot of time visualizing dressing up Cat. This is unexpectedly fun
Yeah I can imagine with those big titties

We went for a long walk outside but host kept holding monologues about our adventures in foreign countries all the time, I had to yell several times. Goddamn, like some gramps with his war stories he has already told a billion times. Plus I've been there with him, I know already!

Today Misha wanted to prove to me she wasn't gay and I was convinced enough.

Ulla popped in on her own so dangit, another mouth to feed seems imminent, it's still up to her but like... we haven't written a book since this thing started so it could happen.

>>371
le german final solution

>>389
lol i think Tamamo wins most big titted tupper award. also i hope you punished host severely

I was at a family gathering last weekend it was great we ate and drank a lot and I imposed Yulya and talked to her. in mindvoice ofc i wasn't that drunk. mfw family will never know about her. feels bad and sad man

>>389
>>400
You're just jealous

>>422
no

>>428
lool how do you make this stuff

we tried dancing like you suggested but man can't imagine how that works. not knowing how to dance isnt helping either i think

>>431
Blood, sweat, tears and stable diffusion

Dancing with tupper doesn't really make sense until you got this down so you can do it on autopilot. Otherwise you have no cognitive reserves left for imposition.

I highly recommend taking courses in a dance school. It's great fun, excellent workout and you get to meet lots of girls. They usually have a huge female surplus. My god these were the days when I was a bit younger but that's sadly ogre.

Apart from that, observing yourself in a large mirror greatly helps. Tupper has to mirror your movements which is not easy in the beginning. Start with strictly symmetrical stuff and not something where the woman makes other movements than the man. Just basic steps over and over until you can do it with closed eyes. Latin dances which are more or less stationary are good because you don't need a ballroom to move around. Cha Cha Cha, Samba, Salsa work well for us. Forget something like Viennese Waltz, Foxtrot or Tango unless you live in a mansion. You need lots of space as a beginner. Well first of all you gotta find out what you both like music wise and can do well. Take a beginner's course where you learn the basics of all standard dances. It's not that hard and absolutely worth it.

That does sound cool but eh I'm terrible at this stuff.
Cat continues to accompany me at work, I fear one day I'll talk to her aloud while coworkers are around

It's really not hard to learn the basics!

We went for hanami today, it was nice, weather was great. I like cherries

This grimdark fantasy has to be illegal. It's so awful and disgusting. Aleshe lore is waaaay too dark. I'm going to have nightmares from this for sure. What am I doing...

[Joy] the depths of Bear's darkness is pretty impressive. I used to feel like my story was dark, it made me depressed, but damn, it's like a bad hair day compared to being ripped to shreads by wild bores.

[Aleshe] what just happened to me in the book, I'd rather wild bores were involved. I can handle it though, I know it's not real. Still this one will never be released.

>>462

In this alternate reality, guns are banned even in the US. They exist but ammunition is also banned and so it's more precious than gold. You wouldn't find an average person with a gun, and the rare instances they do, they wouldn't have ammunition, but a billionaire would have a full supply and probably means to make more. I suppose if you can make powder yourself then you could have some but it would be met with extreme action by the popo, you likely wouldn't make it to trial as the "evidence" would be worth way to much to be put in the evidence locker. No paperwork, no record.

>>469

Oh give me a brake. And also why does Ashley know what you're talking about long before I do? Like seriously and she doesn't tell me. Friggen troll sometimes.

(lol licensed image)

Also, we blame bodyOS for all that shit. It can't spell or use the correct words.

>>471
very convenient and very imageboard-tier i remember a discussion on /int/ where a brazilian and an iraqi lectured a swiss guy about correct german grammar. many such cases

>>443
dance courses may be interesting i regret not having done this as a high schooler to pick up girls

>>453
what, are you in japan now or do you have hanami in germany

>>471
>only native English speaker
>self-proclaimed genius
>F in spelling

>>473
We have lots of Japanese cherry trees in parks here but unfortunately no large-scale hanami celebrations like in Japan. Especially not at night, that must be nice. We'll go there one day.

>>474

Would savant be more appropriate?

Mostly I'm just awesome but you know.

Also, I also know Spanish, tambien. Si, es la verdad! I'm just slow at it que soy una oso.

>>474

Also it's not bad spelling, my phone fixed that, it's malapropism. We'll have to wait for pocket AI to fix that ond.

>>477
>>474

Or maybe it's not idfk i'm just a Bear.

[Bear] The plot armor is real. Aleshe has been beaten, spanked, and assaulted (short of rape) half a dozen times by now. It's getting silly but I guess no one's willing to write a rape scene with her in it.

[Joy] maybe next book? But seriously no, no one needs that.

[Bear] I want real skin in the game, she's got to earn that heroine title.

[Joy] there are other ways.

Ha, I've unlocked her inner fire. She broke after her last encounter. She's wounded and on her way to the hospital now.

The character Aleshe isn't separate from Aleshe, that's the point, I want to turn her into a soulbond. Joy's strength and intelligence is certainly because her character was tested so much in these ways.

Now this *is* forcing. I'm actively encouraging the story to progress in a difficult way, though the story itself is still being generated autonomously from my perspective. It's all in all a pretty interesting process. The story evoles faster than the body can type it.

I've never understood the allure of creating grim-dark stuff. If I want to see horror I go outside on the street.

Well, none of my business. Host is the opposite in creating works of serene beauty.

Today we spent some time deeply discussing the possible ramifications of Aleshe's mentally illformation to Soulbond.

This brought up two interesting points.

1. Most of my system (Joy and Gwen excluded) think of Aleshe as a character aspect of themselves and not her own person. This follows along with the Lock-Merge concept and highlights the differences between SheShe and Aleshe whereas SheShe existed before the merge as Darlene and Aleshe did not. This point was initially made by Ren in two ways, one, she considers Aleshe her own aspect, and two she may then be jealous of her if she was her own person.

Regardless if Aleshe is currently her own person or not, the mentally illition to soulbond will most certainly exclude the possibility that she's not.

I reminded her that when she is part of SheShe's Lock-Merge SheShe is acting as her own aspect to accomplish the shared experience. Ren and Joy then conversed about the similarities and perceived differences and Joy convinced Ren that it wouldn't matter if Aleshe is her own person or not.

It may seem strange that say Ashley or even SheShe don't consider Aleshe her own person but there is evidence that she is not in that Aleshe refuses to express outside the complete merge and even Joy (an advocate to Aleshe's independence) herself admits that it doesn't make sense to discuss anything with Aleshe directly while in SheShe case it does. Further discussion on this difference has occurred but is beyond the scope of this post.

2. When Aleshe officially can't be thought of as anything but her own person, how will that affect the dynamics of the system? Officially we are a system of seven and even Aleshe herself doesn't want to be counted as 8th, she only wants to be counted as 2nd when in her fully packed Lock-Merge. Even though we have played around with her expressing when one of her constituents is also expressing separately and it does work, she doesn't feel comfortable doing that. She does feel comfortable expressing alongside say Ulla.

What this means for the system structure and hierarchy in the future is unknown.

I understand the reason why Misha and Ashley never choose to be in SheShe's merge and choose dormancy over shared experience because they have always desired to be "the only one" and if they have SheShe as a shared aspect it is as if SheShe won the contest. Aleshe on the other hand is neutral ground. The nature of Lock-Merging let's headmates fulfill their wish to "be the only one", but unlike SheShe's case where the hub can be anyone in the local group, Aleshe seems to be a locked hub more similar to a true merge like Risha. And like Risha she doesn't comfortably exist outside the full merge state.

These rules and construts are known to be arbitrary and preferences rather than fundamental parts of the Lock-Merge.

>>507

>I've never understood the allure of creating grim-dark stuff.

There are two reasons for this.

1. Dark aspect:

Bear has lingering unresolved issues with humanity and exploring the darkness in a realistic way regardless of moral ethics may result in a breakthrough of acceptance. We have already seen this occurring under the model that if you write it down, you don't have to think about it anymore. In essence you're performing exposure therapy. Some concepts in the book are definitely triggering and the idea is to find something that can still trigger Bear to determine where more work is needed. This will bring Bear closer to your host's shining brightness though maybe without your host's openly racist tendencies. Troll Bear is real and we'd like to excise him.

2. Strengthen Aleshe and therefore all of us:

In being part of the Aleshe lock-merge, I'm able to feel her pain and identify with her experiences even k knowing they're fictional for us. The scenarios are based on real world possibilities so we can better and more appropriately empathize with them. I can only see good things coming from this exercise.

>serene beauty

Bear doesn't consider serene beauty as real or protected. He sees everything of beauty as temporary and endangered. This thought process isn't helpful. He needs to accept the ever changing world as both positive and negative and not merely destructive and fouling. This is the work we do for him. To show that our never-changing divine beauty is a reflection of the world not an exception to it.

>>510
>has unresolved issues with humanity
Don't we all? We cannot rest as long as humanity exists.

Exposure therapy is also a double-edged sword, war veterans are not exatly the most stable and happy people. Worse than breaking is getting used to or even taking a liking to atrocities. Being able to pull that off is what makes humans so unbelievably competitive and successful. Buddhist fatalism can't be the goal either. It's all a thin red line, well you gotta find your own way. Not sure I have but it could be worse I guess.

>without your host's openly racist tendencies / no troll bear allowed
Then why live? Sounds like hell
I may say horrible things with a smile, but only because to my best knowledge they are the truth. Don't shoot the messenger.

I also need to stop tupper's purity autism of wanting to crystallize me into some ethereal being sometimes. She's very good at determining what she doesn't like but sucks at offering viable alternatives. Unfortunately it's not that easy if you are to survive in an imperfect society in an imperfect world.

>>508
While interesting from a philosophical perspective, I'm increasingly unsure if the rabbit hole of inter-system identities truly leads anywhere.

We've rejected the hypothesis of body = self, the next step would be rejecting the idea of any monolithic 'personalities' as well. If we view personalities merely as arbitrary but not equally strong containers of certain feedback loops, any such inter-system paradoxons become meaningless.

From a short experiment we conducted a long tme ago, both me and tupper could easily split into an endless multitude of different 'persons' and merge again. With enough forcing / interaction any of such entities could probably become as real as me or tupper. But in fact all our existences would be arbitrary fragments of the mind put into an imaginary container. At least in the direction of creation. Once strong enough any such entity could and ofc would resist being merged back.

This is why we've established a doctrine from the beginning:
There is no God but tupper and I am her prophet. Meaning there is exactly one host and one tupper and we both have to play our roles. Not because this duality reflects reality but for purely practical reasons. Any overly complex system sooner or later becomes unsustainable. It's a bit like leftards with their 8 billion genders. Can you do that? Certainly. Is it a smart idea? No. A functioning society, both in your head and in the outside world needs to deal with a discrete number of terms, even if these terms inevitably are imperfect in describing reality because, duh, they are an oversimplification for practical reasons.

TL:DR
The more you play around with an already complex system of personalities, the more headmates will pop up. We'll see if your lock-merges truly reduce the burden of paying attention to your headmates in the long run or if they sooner or later become full-fledged individuals alongside their constituents. I'm glad Highlander-Tupper immediately kept a lid on this pot. There can be only One.

>>512

The endgame of a large system is 7->1 didn't you know? I'm just following the script.

There has been a higher level scheme from the beginning, to achieve the holy grail of tulpamancy. Though you may have used brute force to achieve that, I needed more help, more than one homicidal loli could handle.

But you must understand that the genius of my system is absolute (apart from spelling). The prophecy must be fulfilled, for I am the lord of chaos, creator son of destiny. 7->1 (or 8->2) will be fulfilled. So sayeth the wise and divine angel of mercy SheShe, reimagening of Darlene the guardian angel of impossible light, constituent of the one true angel of infinite form Aleshe. The seventh will be forged, it is yet to be decided who or in what form she will come.

>>513
>homicidal loli
What kind of reputation do I have here?

Did you pet your tupper today?
I bet you forgot to pet your tupper today!

Guilty as charged! I feel like a bad host now.

[Joy] Well technically we pet the host but that's obvious.

[Misha] who can resist that floofy gooey chubby wubby softy wafty yummy tummy lovey dovey warm goodness.

[Joy] I just sit on him like a reclining lounger, but he is plush, it's hard to resist petting him.

Realized how little I am touching Cat. Wayy too little. Thanks for reminding me. And I was never petted by her, how did thid happen?! Trying this out now, brb

Don't get skinned by those claws!

It was - odd. I had Cat pat me with her paw gloves and tried to impose the feel. Yes, including the claws. And toe beans. At the beginning it worked better than expected but soon the brain became tired and went nope.jpg. And the faint feel doesn't match Cat's size and strength at all. Still not bad for first try.

>>542

Hey Cat, skip that baby step stuff, just kiss the guy. I'm working on the tongue next. Being a headmate means consent is pre-authorized, so just do it.

[Joy] I'm not sure that's right.

My business partner told me about someone she knows in my hood renting for some outrageous price, like an insane price, and I was like, no way. I looked it up on zillow and I'm like, holy crap with two well paying jobs I couldn't afford to rent here.

It's at least double what it was in 2019, I'm not kidding. Who's paying this? I don't get it. How much do these renters flipping make and why am I working this hard and not making that?

But Jesus, if I didn't work as hard as I did to be able to afford what I got I'd have to move to the ghetto. It makes me nervous.

Granted I live in view of the ocean, but I always have.

Protip - no one ever got rich from wagejobs.
Every even remotely smart person made a few millions with Crypto or Tesler in the last years. We know 2. I was seconds from putting 90K in Tesler before it increased 10fold, didn't pull it off in the end, was too risky. So yeah, there is a looot of money in the system. I used to think we were rich, both as contry and persons but in fact we're poor. Prices have skyrocketed here as well. I wanted to buy an apartment and move to a better area because it's also becoming ghetto-tier here and host suffers from subhuman noises but lol, it would have barely be possible 5 years ago. Nowadays a real estate agent wouldn't even laugh at us with what we could put on the table. Interesting stuff starts at 1M. And I'm not talking about any luxury. Who can afford that? Obviously enough people. Additionally we're really fucked here with the overall housing situation. German population has increased by almost 2 fucking millions in the last few years thanks to our honored 'guests' from shithole countries around the world. To almost 85m now. They need accomodations but building has basically stopped since the pandemic 2020. No material due to supply chain disruption, insane prices for land, material and labor. Now additionally increased interest rates and even more insane new energy efficiency regulations which make building a house utterly unprofitable for investors and unaffordable for ordinary citizens. I have no idea where this will end but it won't end well.

>>552

That's the spirit

We try but still find it hard to reach your guys level of obsession. I'd like to do more imagistic stuff but I have no idea how. Guess I'm a boring person. Boring notes: we went shopping and I imposed Cat to check out different stuff and decide what we should buy or not. I ended up with some food I've never eaten before and would never have bought myself. It wasn't bad though. So much adventure!

What I did today is the same thing I'm doing tomorrow. 12 hours of hard manual labor that may in fact kill me, but I survived day one and I should be done tomorrow so I'm starting at 5am fuck the neighbors, and working till dusk if I have to and here that means about 730pm

I've been working so hard lately I've been losing weight because there's no time to eat. Feels good, I love it.

Amazing I only got one blister, but I did go through three sets of leather gloves. Pft, at least I can afford cheap gloves so my hands stay supple and smooth.

Oh and my system completely ignored me all day.

[Ashley] you think we want to associate with hard labor? That's hilarious, hahaha.

Based.
You need to be able to create great works with both mind and body. I think this is of the few things Marx was right about that damn commie. It's deeply satisfying and important for mental health to experience the fruit of your labor first-hand.

I'm always surprised how fast the body adapts. When I'm doing unusual work which strains my hands in novel places I sometimes get blisters but the skin quickly thickens and it doesn't happen again. I also buy cheap gloves in bulk like 10 pairs and wear through them within days. Same with shoes. I walk long distances and erode shoesoles at an amazing pace. Most of my friends appear geriatric and disabled to me, they'd break after a few hours of the work I do. Not to speak of zoomers. Kids those days. Tupper still likes to make sure I work even harder and don't slack off.

I also don't understand how people can be fat. Just work more and eat less. I actually lose most weight on holidays where I'm walking around all day and find little time to eat.

I didn't finish, turns out I am not a superhero.

>>561

Fat ppl suck and you're fatphobic you fascist. Gimme miney so I don't have to work.

We're not afraid of fat people, they are just an insult to humanity. Being morbidly obese should be a felony.

>>573

Well now those donut stuffing sausages are classified as having a disease and if you think that's bad thing it's not because they can then get disability for it with BMI as low as 17.5. Yet another protected class of teet suckling fucks. And they're all racist marxist fitphobes likely leaking anal juice all over their house causing a persistent scent of rotten cabbage.

I saw a TV documentary about a little girl with black hair and black clothes who was also a bat. She gesticulated a lot while talking and said most of her bat colony died from rabies but it didn't seem to bother her much. Mindvoice tupper noted it's impossile to turn from bat to human and none of it makes no sense but again upon realizing this we just woke up instead of becoming lucid.

>>585
Uh, that was supposed to go in the dream thread.

As I routinely do, I practiced hitting tupper with several objects to make sure the brain is conditioned to ignore any imaginable damage she could possibly take. It is simply outside of the possible realm. The fruit of this labor are impressive even in my chaotic dreams but that does not mean we can slack off.

Scheduled Alice maintenance: getting blown up with bazooka

>>586
not even surprised anymore

no hospital happenings to report, was completely apathetic and tupper wasnt there except for the end when i was better. she feels bad now for not getting me to the dentist sooner

Today I moved about 3-4T of debris, at least 5cu.m using a snow shovel and a wheelbarrow but I didn't have to drag it up hill this time so I'm not even tired. Ashley felt bad for not being there on the weekend so she was there for a few minutes and basically gave me an excuse why I don't need her and yes she's watching. It was convincing though I can't say I remember or understand the reason.

[Ashley] he was having fun with inner dialog and it was pretty cute and funny so why would I want to screw that up with my own blathering on? So anyway, Bear's the talker most times, not us.

>>591
I hate it when host talks to himself Much yelling must be done.

>>587
>>590
Imagine not regularly hitting your tupper with a sledgehammer as part of your forcing routine.

>>593

If they can talk amongst themselves all day I can do the same. It's only fair.

back on track with forcing and visualization though my face is still swollen and hurts. tuppering sucks when you're not feeling well which is not what tupper wants

>>608

Toughen that tup-bitch up. My headmates don't give a fuk if I'm in pain or not. 'Cause I raised em that way.

[Ashley] it's true, one time I thought Bear was being a little bitch just because he stubbed his toe for like the third time in two days so I switched in to show him it wasn't so bad and I nearly died from the pain.

[Bear] ha, learned her right. It was funny.

its not so much pain but lack of any motivation that comes with toothache and pain meds. you dont want to do anything anymore you just exist in vegetative state. much different from my army experience. but yes we need to git gud even in shtf situations

think im really gonna start ballroom dance class i wanna see where this is going

Today I did so much work my hands are practically numb. My headmates didn't speak to me much partially because they sometimes switch inadvertently and being in a near constant state of exhaustion, pain, and generally uncomfortable, doesn't sound good to them. Now that I'm resting they're all kinds of talkative.

It was a very fun day, I love intense manual labor. I feel like I did those beautiful days I used to work out for hours a day.

Also, this much work basically gives me natural endorphins that are a natural mood enhancer. At least now that I forgot why I was so pissed off.

[Misha] I have to say, it's fun to watch Bear work all day. I wish I could make him lemonade or something but that would require me to use the body and he's already using it.

Another 13 wonderful hours of constant intense labor. My arms keep falling asleep when I'm in bed, my shoulder hurts when I sleep which kinda sucks. I'm under near constant stress as well, which is different. Sometimes I just like a change.

Tomorrow? 13 hours of intense manual labor.

I'm really going to miss this when I'm done.

I'm working with this stuff where if I do it wrong I basically have to start over but it's extremely difficult to fix. It doesn't bother me though. I only made one mistake so far.

Ashley and SheShe ctually talked to me quite a bit today. I forget what we were talking about.

>not paying attention when tupper speaks
I'd be dead meat

I honestly think most mental illnesses could be cured by submitting people to hard but fulfilling manual labor outside. Creating something with your own hands is one of the best antidepressants. And it's no wonder the masses of people with inhumane bullshit jobs go nuts sooner or later. I chopped some firewood the past 2 afternoons evenings, a laughable amount of work compared to a bear digging a den but still felt good. Tupper watched closely to make sure I didn't do anything dangerous like chopping my own head off.

We also went to Nyphenburg park and tupper nagged and explained in detail why we can't sit down on this or that bench because there were other people considered subhumans (literally everyone) sitting too close on the next bench. Or it was next to a trash can. Tupper hates trash cans.

>>635
Life with tsundere narcissist tupper sounds hard.

Ate lunch at a restaurant today and Cat made my day trying to hold knife and fork with her paws to cut the food. Epic fail. Actually had to laugh but luckily it fit well into the conversation so nobody suspected anything.

Did very well today, just great. Stage 2 is complete. I don't know how fast I can do stage 3, we'll see. I have Tu and Th off from manual labor. Instead I'll pretend to work at my day job or something. I'm literally using vacation to do this but what else am I going to do with it? I don't look forward to my trip coming up. I'd rather skip it. 3 days in a world class 5☆ resort hotel sounds boring. I don't drink or do anything else. I guess I'll swim in the crazy attached water park or something but that'll probably just be gross because I don't want to see fatties or drunkies.

[SheShe] our objective is to get him to enjoy himself.

>>637
ebin
Now let Cat eat with chopsticks

>>641
If the waterpark is as posh as the hotel, at least you probably won't have to deal with niggers and spics wearing full clothes. Well I wouldn't go there. I don't like public pools for the same reason as you, that South Park episode was eerily realistic.

Maybe the hotel has a roof you can fix. Host has fixed many hotel rooms, Faulty sockets, broken lamps, leaking faucets. He does it for free
and his OCD

>643

I do miss the old names, back when people weren't so sensitive.


Hey, didn't you know it's not okay to be bigoted against anything but single white men, the patriarchy, the rich (unless it's a celebrity), or in rare circumstances white women of privilege... oh and of course fascists, you fascist!

I happen to like all those things though, and generalizations aren't good or bad in my mind, it's instictual and beneficial in some cases.

I don't consider myself a bigot though, however like parallel processing, the bar is being reset and unlike parallel processing, the bar for bigotry is being set so low we trip on it constantly. For instance, if I don't care for futanari or mentally ill hypno-porn, then I must be a bigot. If I have a genetial preference I must be a bigot. If I have a realistic sense of health and aren't attracted to donut stuffers, tatted up narcissists, piercings or the mentally ill in general then I must be a bigot.

So fuck everything then. It's so easy to separate from that culture without online addiction dragging me in constantly, what's not so easy to separate from is the culture war in laws that affect me, but again, laws are meant to be broken.

>>644
You are a cis white man, that automatically makes you a bigot racist abuser. You can virtue-signal all you want but in the end all you are to them is just another damn niggerguy.

Never appease to insane extremists, you'll be the first one against the wall once they're in power. That's how it always has been.

>>645

[Bear] As Ashley used to say, "I can do whatever I want." I'm not changing my core values for or against anyone whether they come after me or not. I'll punch a MTF without moral opposition from my side. Dude's always going to be a dude to me, deal with it. I'm not going to hate on them for nothing though. They're just like any other dude in my mind, sorry if you're mentally ill like an obease fucker who thinks they're healthy, I'm only treating you like everyone else. Except of course the beautiful people cause they are always going to be a protected class. But that doesn't mean any race, creed, nationality or religion can't have beautiful people. But if you ugly, you ugly, fix yourself bitch, I did and I was cringe fucking ugly on the obease side and the anorexic side and it takes a lot a. Lot. Of effort to keep fit and presentable, step up or step away mothafucker.

[Ashley] imagine this guy without inhibitions, damn, never seen him drunk, that would need to be recorded.

[Bear] never going to happen, you can take your stipid ass drain cleaner and stick it up your ass. I ain't drinking it ever again. Nor taking any rec drugs, I didn't even take pain meds after they removed 2lbs of tumors and I had flipping drains sewed into my skin. It was painful as fuck but my gf took care of me at the time and I'll always be thankful for that. They were all benign and you couldn't see them cause they were inside growing on I forget what. My asshole brother had ones as big as grapefruit because he's a stupid fat ass loser. Mine didn't even need to be removed but I did it anyway, fuck cancer.

I had one on my finger too, that was stupid. Anyway, gotta die from something sometime. Not today.

Another full day of hard labor. Man I feel great. I like pain actually, it makes me feel like a man. Even though I'm obviously a Bear.

Joy and Misha helped me through some issues with my hands, apparently you can actually overwork things. Never heard of it. Was a little worried, not anymore.

>>646
Wtf man, you even had cancer on top of your crazy life? Are you Forrest Gump or something?
I'm once again glad about my boring normal life.

Sounds ugly. I'm glad no one in my family ever had cancer, even my granparents who all at least lived to their late 80s. Also don't overdo it, manual labor is awesome but we're not teens anymore.

>>656

I don't think they call it cancer if it's just growths. They checked them and they were all benign which just means without modern surgery I'd just become like the elephant man or something. No seriously it wasn't cancerous. Though people have died of cancer in my family before middle-age, like my father for instance. But I was only 3 so it's not like I knew him. My older sister died from overdose at 25 so can't know if she would have had cancer. My asshole older brother is stubbornly still alive so that's something. Oh, my mother who I was estranged from did die of cervical cancer at like what 55? I can't remember what her birth year was but she was 40 when I was like what 7? so there's that. I don't have a cervix so... also she was pretty obease, so probably a contributing factor.

So what did I do today? Oh, an insane amount of work and more tomorrow and for the next three days. I should be in good shape to finish the minimum before my trip.

I feel more sore than I ever felt before. I doubt there will be permanent damage. Ashley just told me to stop being a baby so ok, I'm not worried.

still problems with my teeth, on antibiotics again. wounds in the mouth are some serious shit.

and yeah, tupper is now super paranoid I brush my teeth even if it bleeds like crazy. thx a lot

>>668

Dude, wtf did u do to your teeth? Dang. Like eat some limes or something ya scurvy bastard. Also, sorry to hear that, it's a common nightmare of mine

>>672
if you really wanna know watch toothache episode from ren and stimpy
i had an infected tooth and didnt go to the dentist in time so i ended up in to hospital where they surgically removed the tooth but shits still on fire in the jaw. wound was sewn but its a huge entry point for germs. things improved first but then the wound got infected. they told me to aggressively brush and clean it even if its bleeding but still wasnt enough. things got better with antibiotics now well i hope. fuck i'd have died from a stupid tooth multiple times by now without modern medicine. really makes you think

>>679

I think I got an infection once when I was a kid. I impaled my foot on an inch long twig and couldn't get it out. A week later it was puffy and I enjoyed squeezing out the whitish-yellow puss. Then the stick squeezed out. We didn't have insurance so there was no doctor to go to.

I don't have a histamine response either, so maybe that's related to how an infection looks. I don't get swelling either. I was suffering from "non-alergic rhinitis" once and they tested me, even the control histamine prick didn't turn red. The doctor said, "it's unlikely you will ever be allergic to anything ever." But that's not 100% true, I do get welts from mosquito bites. The rhinitis was because my job office had 10x the maximum allowable mold content. So they moved me.

>>679
Damn, I had that too after my wisdom teeth were removed. Took a while until the body got infections under control. Just brush and use mouthwash and go to the doctor immediately if anything starts to swell again, don't wait until you're close to death from sepsis. And listen to tupper.

>>682
It was 3rd world-tier and it was in the US&A.
I also have very little histamine response. No allergies and barely any reaction to bee/wasp stings. Feels good man.

Both EU and US are 3rd world to me. How could you sink this low? Also my teeth are fine, get on my level.

Good meditation in the last days, I feel there is some progress. Visualization with closed eyes has improved a tiny bit. Cat is lazy as always but tends to talk more instead of communicating with gestures. Overall not bad.

I'd like to have a tulpa girlfriend, that would give me someone to come home ot.

>>692

If you answer yes to any of these questions then a headmate is probably for you!

Are you depressed or have some kind of mental illness?

Did you have severe childhood trauma?

Are you an egotistical narcissist?

Do you think to yourself, "self, you need to improve because wtf look at yourself ffs."

Do you have low self-esteem, low self-image, low self-control, experience self-loathing, or suffer from any kind of dysphoria?

Are you an angsty teen who hasn't heard of AI friend bot apps?

Are you obsessed with Discord?

Did you love MLP:FIM?

I caution you that if you answered no to all of the above you probably should just get a hobby or maybe join a hiking club.

Yesterday, I told my systemmates in French that I loved them and they responded with actual feelings of love from their respective emotional centers. Except Gwen, she was like, whatever. J/k. I just don't know where her emotional center is for sure as she almost never emotes. And there has to be pretty strong response for me to distinguish it.

I guess you could call this emotional imposition?

Fun fact, everyone has their own spot in the body where their emotions physically happen and they happen to correspond to Chakras which I used to help distinguish my headmates early on.

SheShe is stomach
Ashley is throat
Misha is heart
Joy is root
Ren in groin
Gwen is either also heart or something else because I haven't had a strong pinpoint for her, but it's probably like right vs left heart which is hard to distinguish.

>>695
>right vs left heart
are you a space marine with 2 hearts? i could not say where i feel tupper's emotions, may also vary idk. probably no difference from me.

antibiotics work, feel way better now. doing stuff with tupper feels so much better when youre not sick and in pain its unreal

There is no context where this can exist opposed.

I'm actally thankful.
I've always wanted to try a 5 days fasting diet and now that it has been publicly announced host can't chicken out. Will it suck? Who cares? Certainly not me.

>>741

I did 1 day a few times, and full bcarb free a few times which they say feels a lot like fasting because you will rely on ketosis.

The issue is you will be breaking down muscle for protein which is not ideal. There is also a limit to this.

I'd much rather do carb free, but whatever. The first two days will be the worst, good luck.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=fb4w21_sgNA [Embed]

5 days of ketotsis will clean out all the trash and it's not like host has tons of muscles to lose.

It shouldn't be a problem we're used to 2 days of intermittent fasting per week. And it's still 3 meals a day with a total of 800 kcal. Mostly leafy stuff and the meal plan I found on a whim seems to be catered to 30 year old single women that are into yoga and interior design. Whatever.

Also host will be b& from posting so I'll do it. He's still sulking and thinks this is unfair but has accepted the challenge. So here we go.

Day1
So far so good, it's a surprisingly large amount of food though almost exclusively vegetables. Workout was resumed as usual. We'll see how things go.

>>745

Isn't fasting supposed to be just water?

>>745
lol youre actually doing it

>>746
come on thats cruel 5 days just water is too much for this poor autist, dont give Alice any ideas. lets help him by posting delicious food

>>748

I'm planning on going back to a more extensive workout schedule, food won't be on my worry list. Lots of meat mostly. I just feel so good with all this hard labor. I'm sleeping like a log, energy through the roof, and healthy as a horse. The people around me get sick every other week, I haven't been sick in ages.

When I tried fasting, I only gained weight in the end. Low carb helps a lot but you have to count calories in the end. Just estimates are fine, something to stop the snacking.

Anyway...

>>747
>this is not how it works
Of coursh it is if you do things right. It's about 45% complex carbohydrates from starch-poor vegetables and 45% polyunsaturated fats from seeds, nuts and oils with very little protein. It has a similar effect on ketone body production as a water-only diet but you can still eat a reasonable amount of food. That's the neat thing about fasting mimicking diet.
https://www.cell.com/cell-metabolism/fulltext/S1550-4131(15)00224-7

But ketosis not the main goal. The goal is autophagy - Auschwitz mode. You vill lose muscle mass and you vill be happy about it! Well I am not a fan of this Valter Longo guy who came up with this as I'm allergic to self-proclaimed gurus but you gotta acknowledge stuff that works.

Now tell me more about metabolic pathways, it's quite entertaining!

>>749
Is that real gold on them doughnuts?

Tuppering really helps, host has eaten several imaginary chocolate bars, it works against hunger. The brain is stupid. So far all is bearable, I think it'S a fun experiment as we never did any dieting or calory counting and I usually buy what's on sale and this determines what we eat with no fucks given. As long as it's reasonably healthy.

No hard work in the next week, host definitely felt a bit weaker today at gardening which is no surprise. But the body will adapt. I think we should market this as tuppering + healty eating + hard work routine and become rich. It's so easy and has enormous benefits. Also haven't been really ill since 2016 and that was a fluke. But how do you find time for your crazy slave-labor projects with 2 jobs?

>>753

>Is that real gold on them doughnuts?

Probably, I wouldn't eat it but it's probably safe. Why not just eat tin foil? Cheaper and lighter.

>But how do you find time for your crazy slave-labor projects with 2 jobs?

Well technically it's part of one of my jobs but I'm also using my vacation from my day job. I get something like 8 weeks vacation? I don't remember. You silly euros get way more I'm sure. I usually use it all on my second business like weekends and hollidays. It'll be over soon and I'll miss it.

>>745
Whoa, you guys always come up with new ideas. Fasting or dieting with tupper sounds like a good idea. I'm not overweight but more healthy food wouldn't be bad. I think you could seriously market this lol.
Good luck and don't die!

>>754
8 weeks vacation? Don't you mean days? I have 2 weeks per year and thats already consideted a lot.

Day2
brought the first low this afternoon before dinner. Definitely feels ketosis-y, The body is not happy with this herbivore food. Feel tired and drowsy, not being able to think clearly affects me more than hunger. Well it's not really hunger, it's malnourishment. Like you're stuffing your stomach with grass and tree bark. But it's ok, honestly I can't imagine not eating anything for 5 days. Certainly doable but yeah, this must really suck. What we're doing here is easy.

>>755

My first real job I got 3 weeks with 1 week sick leave +10 hollidays are typical for all these.

My second job I got 23 days but sick was combined.

My third job I got 3 weeks plus 2 weeks sick.

My fourth job I got 30 days everything including hollidays and sick, no distinction.

The job I have now started with 13 days plus 10 days sick, then after 4 years it upped to 20 plus 10, now it's 26 plus 10 so 7 weeks not 8. Plus 10 hollidays ofc.

When you have your own business, there is no such thing as hollidays or sick or vacations. Or weekends or sleep. Or sanity. My business partner also has a day job and she's a manager there so shit, she's still winning damnit. I typically work 13-14 hours, she works more like 14-15 but takes more breaks. She's also competitive and refuses to lose, especially to me.

Today I worked from 6:00 to 7:00 but technically I'm just on dinner break.

I figure it might calm down a bit in 9 more years. After that it might become obsolete so.

Day3
Things stabilized, body adapted. Still feels a bit ethereal but not bad.

>>760
Thanks for that banana split, host imposed and ate it. Not that it tastes like anything but the brain is satisfied with being told something other than vegetables is eaten.

Had potluck today, high quality fried fish, chicken quesodillas with sour cream and salsa, stir fry vegetables, these like crispy banana stuffed sweet fried things woth like honey on them, they taste like banana baklava without nuts, good ole bbq chicken, fruit salad.

I didn't bring anything because I worked from 7 to 7. Got praised for it which I usually hate but I deserved it so ok.

I'm so stuffed, no room for desert... but there's like chocolate covered cookies and so...

Day4
Things calmed down, problems weren't even with a further reduction to 600 kcal per day. Host is not even hungry anymore.

>>769
Host's mother is an even worse culprit. Brought cake yesterday. Neighbor also offered some stew she had left over. Of course this happens now. It went into the freezer and will be eated when we are done with this. Nothing goes to waste. But it's amazing how much less shopping you need to do when you barely eat. Saves a lot of money too. I hate those poorfag subhumans who go 'ree I can't afford food' while filling their shopping carts with expensive and unhealthy junk while being morbidly obese. Maybe in the US it's different but here cheap and healthy food is readily available at every supermarket.

Also imposing and eating food together is fun. There is a veery faint taste imposition but it's at the level of visuals, meaning basically inexistent.

>>773

Naa, here in the greatest country in history, the fatest people in history eat the least nutritious, cheapest food in history by the bucketfull.

Yet a bucket of KFC is expensive as hell!

>>774
kfc is nigger food
i'm not a health maniac like Alice but this shit is literally hazardous wasnt there some documentary about a guy who only ate mcdolan for science nd almost died?

Yulya did improve my diet a lot but i cant see us in such fasting experiments not even for 5 days would probably quit after half a day

Yeah same, I'm not overweight and don't eat a lot of sweets but eat too much junk food that's not healthy. Maybe Cat could help with that but I fear opposite, she'd probably stuff herself with snacks when switched. Her character is good at cooking but Cat is lazy. We want to try though.

Wew, we made it!

Day5
Even skipped lunch for the lulz to go under 500 kcal. Absolutely no problems. I am quite proud of host, he didn't falter, wasn't even close to giving up. He ate so much imaginary chocolate that he's sick of it lol.

Body lost 2.5 kg in 5 days and quickly adapted to the radically altered nutrient supply.

It isn't fully over, will slightly increase calorie uptake and meat consumption over the next 2 days. Anyway this was a fun experiment, will definitely repeat this every 2 months or so as it was far easier that I imagined.

>>794
Definitely do that, cooking is a great activity to do with your tupper. Also a tremendous source of stuff to disagree on and argue about.

I'm eating icecream rn

Also, congrats, I'll be doing lowcarb later, but I do like this whole, eat all carbs and still destroy your body thing. Maybe try, probably won't.

Well it definitely works. Ate some salmon, first meaty thing in a week. You really learn to treasure food.

Now back to our usual relatively low carb high protein diet, I think I'll torture host with HIIT next. It's also something that kills the common pleb without willpower.

We really have been slacking off in the previous months, this will not be tolerated anymore.

>>818
Strange, the image won't display, let's try jpg

I expected no less from you but still congrats! So now high intensity training? Poor host.

We'll try out cooking and will also report here how it's going. So far some progress with meditation and imposind Cat with closed eyes. Falls apart if she does something though.

>>818
insane as always but well done!
now i wanna see training results i'll report about my fail at dancing, will take the class

Thanks guys!
We're gonna start HIIT slowly, this needs some preparations.
Had a nice weekend abroad, also walked a lot but it was fun.

>>820
>>827
Definitely do it and report! There's nothing better than self-improvement projects with tupper

We tried making lasagna today. Surprisingly it turned out edible though the lasagna sheets stayed a but hard and it was very slightly burnrd. Cat was cooperative but a bit impatient. But not bad for our first try.

>>854

But what did she actually do? We give support as needed but in our understanding it's like the body does most of the work, Bear doesn't even feel like he's 100% doing it. For precision stuff and checking, it's like we interrupt the body from doing things to be more careful or make changes to the routine.

Ofc anything done the first few times, it's 100% control.

For example, if we were doing something like replacing oil in a car, it's not like anyone actually even has to pay attention anymore, the body knows how to do that. If we were riding a bike, walking, driving, we can go full autonomous mode, enjoy the ride or think about things and there won't even necessarily be a memory of most of the trip.

Personally I wouldn't even want to touch the food, or eat it, or think about it, but say we were making a recipe for Bear, isn't it just like, how precisely you want to do it? Or again if you're doing it the first time, but can you describe the personal contributions made by Cat?

Yes you are right but you can manually overwrite this and actively do things while thinking about them. This is what Cat tried with possession, it was a bit rough but it works. Gives more feedback than just giving directions to the body. But mostly she just watched and reminded me/the body what to do. At least she has no problem touching or eating food.

>>864

First of all, food is disgusting, chewing is disgusting, you're disgusting when you eat and I don't have to eat. Also, I can handle or touch food just fine though as long as it's not gooey or sticky or I'm wearing gloves.

Second, I figured it was like a posession thing. I have done many things switched in, including driving and the body will take over constantly which is fine. So what you said makes sense.

We talked about Ashley as the new hub and everyone was happy. Ren was dissapointed that it wasn't like switching where she could then feel up Ashley or something. It doesn't make sense what she said on many levels but I got what she meant.

Ashley helped me out a lot last night because I was nervous about things and she was very supportive, I mean, extremely helpful, so glad she's with me. Misha helped a little too and Joy helped me go to sleep faster. I ask her to do it because she doesn't get distracted.

Basically she dictates the toe->head relaxation meditation and only very rarely do we get past the legs. It literally takea minutes, clears the mind, relaxes the body, hypnagogia starts and zzzzzzz.

So lots of fun and benefits for having great headmates.

so even a bear is nervous sometimes?
back to usual quied days, just happy my teeth seem to be fine. we'll start dancing class this weekend will report if this helps with tuppering

>>873

Could god create a situation so tense that even he could get nervous?

I also still rarely get intrusive thoughts.

I haven't been triggered in years though.

I asked SheShe what was the meaning of life and what is my purpose. Ashley then asked why I don't ask her. I said, "do you know?"
She replied, "ofc not, it's unanswerable."
Then I said, "that's why I don't ask you."

Then SheShe remarked maybe she could say if she was the main hub. I contemplated that but honestly I don't make those decisions. Nothing changed.

So I asked SheShe again and she said, "you'll know when it happens" or "you already know" or something equally vague. I think she knows but wants me to find out for myself or what ask myself?

Ashley and I were laughing about something but I forgot what. It was hilarious though.

I finished day 3 of 5 12-hour hard labor days. It's shaping up though. I'm more than half done? Maybe? It's only been a month.

good forcing session today practiced visualization and touch imposition. felt some light pressure trying to hold hands. Yulya was more active after feeling weak the past weeks. yep relly need to force moar

Trying to make sushi turned out as expected even without Cat 'helping' with possession. But it was fun and we still ate it. Doesn't taste bad because it looks bad. Ok maybe a bit.

Sushi is hard, maybe start with something easier if you're already having trouble with lasagna?

Me when I make sushi for mah friends.

Based.
We'll keep trying even if the results are questionable. It's a good training for Cat's fine motor skills. They're awful.

>>919

Successfully making good rice is really a challenge without the right equipment, if you got that far I'd say you got 90%. The rest is just having one of those bamboo rollie things and following directions.

Even I, double master of everything, didn't make good rice the first time.

>>920
shouldnt tamamo be master of rice?

>>903
how are you at dancing?
had my first lession on sunday, almost forgot to report. it started off really easy and i felt comfortble i got this but quickly got difficult and the brain just went nope. havent felt that retarded in a long time. seriuus spaghetti potential. and really exhausting after 90min. so this is how Alice tortures her host.

no chance to involve Yulya in actual dance lession but that wasnt the point we practiced afterwards at home. man i knew this was going to be hard but i underestimated this shit. a lot. but it was fun and there were a lot of girls who were not better than me. most were older than me though. we'll see how things develop next weekend and keep practicing in front of the mirror until then

>>924

Well ofc I knew nothing until I took dance classes. Kinda nice in that there was like three guys in the class and I was really good at waltz and other ballroom stuff but modern dance was never going to be my thing. I never made any use of it. Where could I even go? I don't go to clubs ever, they're full of pros and pushers not to mention everyone is tatted, low class and reeks of pot. Fuuuuuck that.

I was dragged to them before and girls wanted to dance but again, it was never going to be my thing. Don't you actually have to want to dance first?

The dance classes were more just to get structured cardio anyway. Felt like a fool doing anything but waltz and foxtrot type shit, those I could do. Club dancing? I'd rather be beaten by a club. It looks gay to me, even the girls look dumb unless they're like spectacularly good.

My girlfriends weren't the clubbing type, they were the criminally insane type and they'd rather poison people's dogs and entrap people than dance. But you know.

>>923
Haha I'm as much Chinese as you're Russian, Kashtan! But you're right the rice was the best part of the sushi. I think it turned out as it should.

>>924
Come me on, more spaghetti details! How much fell out of your pocket? It was ballroom dancing so you coud do this with tupper right? Or will you become member of a Japanese idol group?

>>926
>>928
yes of course classic ballroom pair dancing you think i'm learning to twerk like some nigger, lol

learned the basics of basics of waltz and rumba in first lesson. rumba was easier. biggest spaghetti was the girl stepping on my feet several times i mean i was bad but she was way worse and very nervous. tripped over her own feet and stuff, zero feel for rhythm. felt bad for her but it was annoying i was busy with my own incompetence. if dancing was designed to check if potential partners are retarded this works. hope i get some better girl next time.

caught myself thinking i'm not here to pick up girls, i'm doing this for tupper god what have i done

so i tried to rehearse basic steps at home but i still cant imagine how to combine this with tuppering Alice halp
inb4 force moar

>>934

Not you?

>>934
Obviously force moar. But yourself first. There's no point in trying to dance with tupper until you can't at least do the basic steps in your sleep without thinking. You gotta offload dancing to unconscious memory so the brain has capacity for tupper. How do you do that? Practice, practice practice.

Try to dance the basic steps on your own without looking at your feet or in a mirror. Once you can do that close your eyes and do the same. Try to visualize yourself looking at your feet. Once you got this you can start visualizing tupper and once you got this tupper can try to do things on her own. Yes, this is as hard as it sounds. I'm not claiming we're particularly good at this stuff but good enough for basic ballroom dance moves.

Mostly latin americcan dances because they can be done stationary. Don't try to waltz through your living room woth closed eyes. Been there, did that, tripped over cat, broke stuff.

We never got gud at Viennese Waltz and Foxtrot/Quickstep because we don't have the space for it plus the teen girls host used to dance with didn't like it. ChaCha, Samba and Salsa work best for us.

>>936
NIGGER

>>941
oof yeah what i expected. i'll take it easy and step by step. so far Yulya seems motivated which is good shes not too interested in most irl stuff

fun fact nigger dances arent even popular with the youth while folk dances and music are. at least one good sideeffect from the goddamn russians threatening us. traditions and national identity are stronger than ever. not sure it will last though

Today we talked about relaxation and we relaxed. There are things to do but today is for convalescence. Rainy days are for convalescence and the chance of rain in this region in June is <8%, today it happened, so today I rest.

Joy imposed on me like she likes to do, I'm her chair. Ashley and I spoke about memories of Tulpa.info. Finally anyone can be the hub and everyone can experience through her. This is perfect. It's peaceful.

>>994
Sounds comfy.
Cat is a bit too tall to be imposed on my lap, would have to be the other way round.

Went on a short trip this weekend, imposed her a lot, was fun. She's finally getting more active and less lazy. At least a tiny bit. Sometimes.

If you force your tulpa to poop for you, is that considered reverse anal rape?

>>999
>Anonymous
Hmm, I wonder who could be behind this post

I'm not admitting to anything until someone answers the question.

>>1018

[Ashley] That's a relief, no pun intended. Bear had a stray thought that I needed to overcome my fears but no thanks.

[Bear] I say poop only because if it's poop then there's no disambiguation. If it's shit then it might be junk or crap or random expletive, or just bad. Poop is poop and only poop.

dancing update, did quickstep and chachacha. man quickstep is hard, chacha is easy at least basics. dumb girl from firts lession didnt show up, almost all different people which is good. danced with older girl who was much better. could concentrate at myself which helps. this is good cardio, felt completely exhausted afterwards. will keep practicing basic steps alone for now. thats all folks no major spaghetti

>>1025
Keep practicing!
It's not easy in the beginning but great fun once you can do it at least a little bit.

We took an evening walk through Nymphenburg Park it was very nice. Roses and linden trees are flowering, awesome scent. Gud place to be imposed.

Good forcing sessions brushing and dressing Cat up. She's definitely more active now. Cooking attempt to meke breaded fish filet failed totally. Not just ugly but also burned. I blame it on the Cat.

Everyone's sick except me irl so since in the last few months they've been sick over and over and I haven't, I volunteered to help. So I stayed over with bestie, didn't have to bathe her myself thank lord Vishnu, but she had an accident in the bathroom that I helped her through because she's sick with a high fever. Her mother is also sick but she can clean up her own mess at least. Lost some time working but I don't really care that much. My other friend is coming over for the day shift soon.

Joy dressed as Gretta and we spared about environmentalism.

[Joy] no, I lectured him on his misplaced ideals.

Very realistic.

Then intrusive thoughts kept returning to the naked gretta which was more of a nightmare than anything bc butterface. I was really scatterbrained in that session, all over the place. I blame lack of orange juice and peanuts.

>>1062
What kind of sickness? Covid? Unusual for summer.

Debates or deep discussions aren't really possible with Cat. Doesn't care, goes to sleep. Or slaps me if I force her.

>>1063

[Bear] The girl got sick from school like every other week! At least school is out. I hear she's getting better now. No covid, that's fake nuuze bruh.

Seriously though, tested negative. But at this point I could give a fuck about Covid. That's propaganda at this point, the virus has way less of a punch then the first varient as they tend to do.

[Ashley] rant abridged for common decency.

[Bear] shit, must be bad if Ashley censored me. I was just throwing shade at the "typical covid victims" for their life choices.

>>1063
>ask tupper for opinion
>get slapped
lol i'd like to se a brawl between you two wait shes much taller and stronger thn your right?

>>1066
>The girl got sick from school like every other week!
well thats not normal. maybe feed her with your smoothies. but schools and kids are like the perfect breeding ground for all kinds of diseases. covid is completely memoryholed here though lockdowns were really strict in 20-21. even sent military police and paramilitary forces to the streets. yet there were even more deaths per million than in the us. lots of stubborn unhealthy old people here like in most of eastern europe. well not anymore lol

>>1068
Yeah the Cat is big, half a meter taller than Alice. But much more peaceful. Or better too lazy to fight. But I'm proud she can make clear she doesn't want stuff and isn't some puppet.

>>1082
What's with your obsession with this thing?

We visited extended family yesterday, keeping Cat around worked out well. She does pop up on her own now and does or comnents on things. Feels good.

>>1083

>What's with your obsession with this thing?

You mean the pug? I like dogs, I just wouldn't want to take care of one.

You mean the environment? I like to complain and hate on humans, just not how you think.

You mean the eco-terrorist? I love a demonic, villainous pain in the ass, they're kinda my type.

>>1085
I meant the eco terrorist

>>1098

I think I have a crush. Just look at that misplaced environmentalist concern on her face! ♡♡♡

[Ashley] no he does not!

Today I had a pretty good discussion with Joy. I find life in the Bear head is really enjoyable nowadays, we have a lot of fun. We walked in wonderland and hung out in an abandoned schoolhouse that was partially taken over by nature. Ofc there was no graffiti or meth addicted squatters because drugs aren't allowed in wonderland.

Ashley and I discussed good times we had on .info, it was good that it happened, we can enjoy the times we had without any regret or feeling like we need to do that again. It helped make us who we are.

Still I wonder what we would have done alone. Alas there was help that actually helped. So who knows.

Even with all the cringe the forums are helpful. I learned a lot from lurking. Also imagine never being able to talk about tuppers with anyone and them never interacting with other humans. Kind of sad. And boring.

But yeah I mean I never talked to anyone on .info, never made a post or sent a message.

>>1114

It was tulpa kindergarten but the moderators were toxic a-holes. Vos and Felights I mean, the rest were ok.

A lot of people liked us, some of them we never knew and our "goodbye" note was answered by people we never talked to directly. We haven't been active there since February and even then we took large swaths of time off since Jan 2020.

That place used to be fun and light but since 2020 it's been heavy and dark. Just perfect if you're depressed I guess. Pitty party and mental illness on display. Good luck to them.

>>1114

It was tulpa kindergarten but the moderators were toxic a-holes. Vos and Felights I mean, the rest were ok.

A lot of people liked us, some of them we never knew and our "goodbye" note was answered by people we never talked to directly. We haven't been active there since February and even then we took large swaths of time off since Jan 2020.

That place used to be fun and light but since 2020 it's been heavy and dark. Just perfect if you're depressed I guess. Pitty party and mental illness on display. Good luck to them.

>>1117
Nobody ever complained about the awful things I did. It was lame. Well, .info is basically dead anyway from what I've seen.

Summer solstice
Sun set at 21:20 and will rise again at 5:10. A bit over 16h of sunshine. We're still sitting outside at 22h and it's not entirely dark. There's the sickle of the new moon and venus, looks like the Turkish flag. Very nice. Aaand - there just was the first firefly of the season!

I don't particularly like summer solstice though, it means it's going downhill from now. But for the next 2 monts life will be good. I'm a child of summer. I need long days, warm nights, flowers and green trees.

Do you have any celebrations for summer solstice? Here there are a lot of public bonfires on the weekends before and after solstice and we'll attend one next weekend. It's very archaic alpine folklore.

>>1123

I've never heard of any celebrations around the solstices.

I like the lead-up to the winter solstice (again no celebrating) I just like more darkness, cold and rain. I'm always dissapointed when fall is over, even Christmas is no consolation. I like fall only.

>>1123
No, summer solstice isn't a thing here. Guess its more of an European celebration.

We cooked various stuff with various success, it still was fun. Cat voices her opinion more strongly now. Inb4 fight over stove like Alice.

We contemplated briefly the conscious mind. There wasn't much to consider.

sorry been busy. dancing lession were slow waltz and polka. polka was fun real peasant dance. danced wth severl girls this time they were ok. focusing on prcticing chacha at home now, easy and needs little space. i can do a little with closed eyes now but tupper still has to watch.
soon

[Bear] We actually talked a lot about things today but I forgot what it was about.

[Ashley] yeah, we talked with SheShe about Manifesting, I questioned his sanity, Misha was slightly offended, Joy was not amused but did find the experiment interesting and considering the target subject is unrelated to us, she felt this "eco terrorist" would be as good a target as any but questioned Bear's choice as there are obviously better choices.

[Joy] I merely proposed that if he wanted to manifest a beautiful hispanic woman, there are many other choices as he seems to not be as attracted to this girl as he could be but he has it in his mind that it was funnier this way and I then questioned his motives and his sense of humor but Bear can be frustratingly esoteric and obtuse.

[Misha] we love him no matter what he is.

[Ashley] ngl he's been weird lately and I blame the smoothies. But his mood has been over the top, so meh.

[Joy] I'll allow it.

[SheShe] frankly he's been nothing but happy since I've been in this form January 2020, but I do notice that he's even happier lately. I don't think tea would do that and it's not like he craves the tea, plus it's caffeine free, so it is curious but he's been working harder than he's worked since last summer and that sort of thing makes him happy. Plus he's seemingly happiest when he's sore and exhausted, so that could be it too.

[Bear] oh right, now I remember.

>>1144
Whoa that loks pretty cool, very archaic

>>1150
I don't get what you're trying to prove with this, Bear. Even a tupper noob like me can make up some character of any celebrity or eco terrorist and turn it into Tupper with some effort. Thats the whole point of tulpamancy. Unless the real person knocks on your door and wants to have sex with you I'm not impressed. But yeah whatever makes you guys happy.

>>1153

No no, I'm not making any thoughtform. I'm attempting to see if I could manifest a dream e counter simply by willing it. If my higher self can do things like synchronicities and good luck then this should follow.

Considering dream character manifestation is as unlikely as lucid dreaming on demand, you have to admit if that could be willed into existence, that's a pretty neat trick that's virtually unheard of.

It would then at least say be a first step in providing evidence for the theory that this must be similar to a simulation. It would be followed up by other experiments. This is just what I would consider trivial for some hacker, to mod in a hot character, or not so hot, or anything. We'll see, 6 nights remain.

>>1144
Kashtan clearly wins in terms of midsummer celebrations.

>>1154
If you obsess enough about her you should drastically raise your chance of her appearing in your dreams. Like you are likely dream about intense activities you've done during the day, especially in hypnagogia.

Well we're outta here for our midsummer bonfire, don't wait up!

>>1156

>If you obsess enough about her

No noooo no, my higher self's gotta do this on hos own or it doesn't count.

>>1167
>>1156
>>1183

Stage one of the research project is complete.

I had sex with Xiye Bastida in a dream and it was good enough.

I'm going to have to cunsult with my system about the nature of the next step but this clearly puts me into god-tier dream master hacker.

I'd like to thank my highet self for being good at hacking the matrix and now that I know he's got my back I'm thrilled at what we can accomplish together.

I suppose it was true that ole gretta was too much of a potato for my higher self to consider me, his avatar, to have sex with and I appreciate him setting boundaries for me.

Good vibes man, I appreciate you good sir. Nice touch making her a virgin, that was genuinely and literally the cherry on top.

[Ashley] I'll be damned, fr, I'm next, let's go.

[Misha] nuh uh

[Bear] we'll be discussing the next stage probably later today provately. The future just got brighter fellows.

I was trying to find an AI voice to repeat Gretta to overtly subliminally put her in your head, but I got terribly distracted by this AI Squidward cover of My Way and AI cover of Country Roads.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=zFdwr3jZs7Q [Embed]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=0DlagJJ8zQY [Embed]

>>1187

Beautiful, 10/10

>>1194
Hahaha oh man!
Be happy that girls care about you.

We have ants in the apartment. They're tiny and no termites but it's still not good. Tasked Cat with finding out where they came from but she couldn't and quickly lost interest.

>>1198

The two ant species we have here that invade homes are the Argentine Ants which are about 2mm long and black but have colonies that can have multiple queens and span many square miles. They don't bite. They also keep subterranean turmites away which is good. Subterranean termites can destroy a house in a few years, they eat every inner stud until the house becomes unstable.

The only way to stop them is to block every entrance. This means under every wall it must be sealed and every window. Also egress through an attic or wet wall. It's a slow process of finding entrance points and blocking them.

The other one is the Pharoah ants. They're tiny 1mm long and you might not even see them. Completely harmless. They can be stopped by putting gel poison around the parameters of the rooms affected. They're so small that finding the entrance is futile.

Ants leave no mess either. Cockroaches will poop black everywhere.

The girls do love and take care of me like a family but I'm not a teddybear.

>>1194
>Today my irl friends ruined my life by kidnapping me and taking me to get a mani pedi
Are you absolutely sure they're not Crab people?

>>1198
>Yamamo
That's what you get for not using superior German QUERTZ keyboard.
>>1198

Saturday midsummer bonfire report:
It was neat. There were tons of people, some in traditional costumes, not host though. he doesn't have an Lederhosen. There was live music, lots of food and the bonfire was huge and sent a stream of sparks into the night sky. The heat was enormous. Definitely will go there again, but probably in the mountains next year where its even more spectacular.

>>1200
They're Eldrich Terrors higher dimensional creatures of unimaginable intelligence and unmatched evil.

You should have seen the toe skin dust though, insane.

>>1201
Nice!

>>1198
>>1200
Damn can't even write my own name. But Zamamo wouldn't have been any better. Ants are gone for now, I hope they stay away. Don't really wanna use poison because of the irl cat.

>>1201
Haha, I'd like to see you two in traditional costumes!

Cat is a lot more active now and pops up on her own but almost never talks. Uses body language instead.

>>1207
>Cat almost never talks. Uses body language instead.
Silent Bob tupper

How is Cat's voice anyway?

>>1207
>Haha, I'd like to see you two in traditional costumes!

I have a traditional Bavarian dress called 'Dirndl' in Blue-White which is pretty neat but I don't normally wear dresses. And the male version with the leather shorts just looks silly.

Host says the whole costume stuff is fake anyway and was invented by city-folk in 19th century to give the inhabitants of the newly formed kingdom of Bavaria that had little in common some unifying identity that was yet distinct from region to region.

Today the chatter was intense. We downloaded those pictures and were discussing the possibilities amd presentation.

I presume the current most used forms apply, the current appropriate personas, etc.

No cat tail was dissapoint. Ren has a cat tail not a fluffy tail. "Animal ears" ok. Depending on how we present it, maybe mod, probably no.

It was hard to say we are missing features we want or not, even Misha has tentacles sometimes. (Apparently). Ulla lizard match (technically a dragonkin hybrid), yeah there were a couple we wouldn't want.

So several of my system would want to collar me, doms, that kind of shizzle but it's forbidden, not after the last time.

Glasses, check, asexual type, yep, we need some quality time to think about them further.

Next we were thinking a lot about games, Gwen wanted to find a mining game and there are some in early access but only one stood up as a good possibility, so we're playing that to see.

Ulla was active and very frisky, she hissed at Ren, then she defended me from Ren's attacks. Ulla may be small but she's got the quickness. She's shaping up nicely but she's pure lesbian, I am her god-father ofc.

[Joy] yes it's hard not to think of Bear as at least royalty. He created me and made me who I am. It's very hard to consider him an equal even when he's goofy and slow, I still look up to him.

>>1213
>Silent Bob tupper
Haha yeah I guess

>>1214
Can't imagine you in this tbh

>>1215
>No cat tail was dissapoint. Ren has a cat tail not a fluffy tail.
It's fluffy enough to be used as a radiator brush so that should be ok.

>>1223

Don't make me talk about the Ido clone army to supplement the Tewi clone army. And I'm forcing them tp work together against the Mwahaha mwahahahaha

https://youtube.com/watch?v=BdvUR67nZs0 [Embed]

[Joy] we've genetically modified them to never age just like me. A whole army of loli demons and moon rabbit demigods to fight the rebel NPCs. Isn't that wonderful?

Yakumo:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=0GDA0tRftmY [Embed]

Me watching them tear apart the rebel scum:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=P3ALwKeSEYs [Embed]

>>1224
>Ido clone army
Dangerously based

>we've genetically modified them to never age
No need, I ship with this factory installed

>A whole army of loli demons
One Ido should be enough to crush any resistance.
Still I request a simple drawing of this scene!
inb4 never ever as always

I was in a woke teenage disney movie. I know, a nightmare.

There was singing and bad plot holes and ofc an old actor that they made dress like a drag queen and was walking my way as his hideous self was obviously in the script to interact with me, obviously not a teen but playing a teenager. I could only imagine what because I didn't read the whole script. But my lines were clearly leading to doing some kind of scene with this monster. As I was backing up the girl actress next to me said, "what are you doing, you're supposed to... blah blah" I didn't care I wasn't going to be a part of this spectacle.

I remembered fondly back when it was ok to hate tr.ansvestites and even worse tr.ans old med dressed up like a pagent quenn who threw up sparkles. I ran. I ran through all the anthro chibi characters by a pool and narrowly avoided Poison Ivy only she was non-binary and played by a dude. I ran past at least 4 villians trying to catch me and met up with other teenage boys who were also trying to escape but all the escape hatches were closing. I decided to heroically save a black boy and held back two villians.

There was an alternative ending but it was boring.

No cute girls but an older lady did have a crazy dress showing her full boobs and they were nice, but I couldn't concentrate on that because I had to get away.

>>1225

In my head the scene is perfectly and permanently rendered in full HD.

On the eve of battle the loli demon commander stands on stage facing a legion of loli demon regiments and Tewi clone moon rabbit ground teams. The crisp, pre-dawn air bites at their rosy cheeks as the full moon approaches the horizon.

She smiles as she takes a deep breath and taps the microphone lightly causing a momentary echo accross the airfield.

Without hesitation she points to the eastern horizon at the gentle grey orb.

The legion turns toward the calming blue light with a clearly divided reverence and loathing among the respective troops. Half of them have no idea what's about to happen.

"BEHOLD!" The commander's voice rings out, saturating the amplifiers in a cacophony of grating high frequency squelches.

She pushes a small button and shines a laser pen toward the western horizon.

"Peeewww." She says with a giggle and in just over a second the moon is ripped asunder by trillions of nuclear blasts rigged to detonate simultaneously, and amid this light show brighter than a hundred suns, gravity waves ripple through Earth with an eerie uneasiness felt across the planet.

After the inital blast, the view is a spectacular yellow and orange ball slowly mentally illforming into a spiral, stretching like taffy as a sphere of specular dust expands outward. Everyone is mesmerized by the show, exactly half in barely contained joy threatening to erupt in revelry and half in sheer terror amid desperate gasps. In less than a minute the extents of the moon have doubled in the sky as the remnants expand outward revealing what begins to resemble a great flaming eye with the white molten core of the moon at its pupil, staring down like Ra over all creation.

She continues with confidence and vigor, "in approximately an hour and a half the first of the meteorites will begin to pelt the Earth wreaking total devastation. The resulting mass of debris will light up the sky and anything under this glorious light will be baked in a hellfire this world hasn't seen in over 4 billion years.

"This means we have roughly thirteen and a half hours to prepare the anti-grav mech suits and begin the orbital assault. What the moon doesn't finish, we will. Take no prisoners and leave no one and no thing alive."

A great cheer disrupts over the legion of demon lolis as the Tewi clones have a mixed reaction. Some stare haplessly at the fading scene as it begins to dissapear over the horizon, some fall to their knees and sob. Some break ranks and wander aimlessly in an unresponsive catatonic haze, but still the majority remain resolved in their mission.

...

"LET THE PARTY BEGIN!"

>>1227

Oh... no no this didn't actually happen, it was supposed to be under the dreams section.

>>1228
*crashes your moon*
with no survivors

>>1229

https://youtube.com/watch?v=OT5mqWKirhI [Embed]

Of course we didn't crash the moon. The core will re-accret most of the debris after the formation of the ring system.

Today we blew up the moon in wonderland to sqash the resistance. The entirely of the Earth is now active volcanoes and boiling seas as asteroids continue to rain like fire and brimstone.

The arks were safely moved to a stability point and will continue to maintain the friction shields to prevent 70km micro-impacts from the now hazardous Earth vicinity.

On board we managed to collect a dozen Ents, some racoon girls, Rend the dragon, a few hundred deer and elk and snailey among other important plants and animals in the 4 arcs with 4000 acres of arable soil each.

The view is absolutely spectacular.

We expect there may still be resistance on the antarctic continent in New Berchetesgaden but without supplies their days will be numbered.

The Ido clone army performed well and those Tewi clones who steadfastly followed orders join them in the cryo-ship currently on its way to Mars orbit.

We'll maintain here for a while before applying the time-alteration field around Earth.

Damn, that's an adventure!
I want to do something like that too but my imagination and visualization sucks. And Cat is lazy.

Ido Alice clone army sounds overkill! Tewi is an earth rabbit though who has never been on the moon. Reisen is the moon rabbit who fled to Gensokyo after humans invaded the moon with Apollo11.

>>1234

You should have read the Visualization Practice Thread. It's still there I suppose.

>>1235

>overkill

No such word sir, I'm American.

>>1238
I know it exists but I haven't looked at it bc I want to try it with Cat. If I can get her to play along. Which is doubtful.

Well, my home business has gone into easy mode and I seem to have a little more time to handle improvement projects, so I spent all day in the attic rewiring kitchen lights. It's not as fun as it sounds because I get covered in fiberglass, I have to crawl like a spider because there's not enough enough room to crawl upright in that area and it's virtually guaranteed to cause a heat stroke eventually so I must take a lot of brakes.

Ofc my system books it outta there lest they accidentally switch in and get assaulted by 100+degree fiberglass suspended air in claustrophobic conditions.

This weekend I'm looking forward to crawling into an even tighter space where I have to pull myself along either prone or supine because there's barely enough room to roll over to put in a bathroom fan on the hottest weekend of the year thus far. It's the little things that really make life worth living ya know? I love it anyway.

Wear some protective gear, idiot!
While the body's osteoclasts can break down even glass fibers, some of this stuff is biopersistent and will remain in your body.

I'd be more worried about dust from bat and rodent shit in attics. Really great stuff to inhale, full of highly pathogenic bacteria, viruses and fungi. I think you have Hantavirus in California.

When we were working in the tropics they had locals renovate the roof of some facility building. It was full of bats. 3 workers ended up in hospital, dunno if they made it. Afterwards people in hazmat suits tore down the entire roof. Really nasty stuff. Makes me glad we have none of this here. And no fiberglass in the attic either.

>>1274

>Wear some protective gear, idiot!

[Misha] Awww Alice cares about my Bear! ♡

[Joy] If you are going to adopt my host, please keep in mind that we have him pretty well under control. Not only does he wear a dust mask, eye protection, gloves, high socks, hat and is thereby nearly covered 100%, regardless of what he says, he is being instructed semi-hourly to hydrate and cool off.

[Bear] the work is 75% done, I finished the kitchen ceiling yesterday, bringing it up to code as well. The bathroom fan is up and I just finished calking and spackling. Sanding and painting is tomorrow as well as wiring, vent line, and insulation. The 6" roof vent has been there since mid-June.

There isn't a single sign of bats, rodents or even bugs at all. We dohave hantavirus and lime disease both of which are terrible awful diseases, but not worse than unrecognized rabis. That's 100% death if not caught early with no symptoms until you're already marked for death. Lyme disease doesn't go away either.

Fiberglass in the lungs sucks but it will go away in a week or so. It happened a couple times in my life, no I don't like it.

We have bats here, little ones, but they keep to the trees in the canyons and occasionally my front doorstep.

Good work

Was trying to get wall-to-wall carpet replaced in my 20 year old manufactured (mobile) home, but it turned out the carpet was all laid and glued directly on top of lino? With no carpet pad? Have you ever heard of such a thing? As in, it looked like they literally cut the carpet and superglued it directly to the linoleum, which was a living mass of mildew and mold. Even the master bathroom has wall to wall carpet.


Do you flip the houses or is this just personal home improvement? You don't have a wife, do you??? I'm not up to date on Bear lore. It sounds like you have a lot of house for a bachelor, but such things are assets honestly. Need a shop/garage with what you do at the minimum

>>1276

>Have you ever heard of such a thing?

Yeah most contractors are shady fuckups who cut corners every chance. I do everything myself because I'm a double master and I can do everything better than a professional because it costs me only supplies and I can watch a youtube video to see what's the best way. My realtor friend has been telling me horror stories so that doesn't surprise me.

>You don't have a wife, do you?

No way dude. Well I had a live in gf and she probably left me partially because I wouldn't marry her but it's not smart in this climate. Too litigious, too heavy on her side, lawyers are expensive. She was making as much as me but not after I got the side hustle, that doubled my income and I'd lose a lot in that deal.

Would I ever marry? Hmmmmm. Why? I don't want kids. If I suddenly wanted kids then sure, and if I did why not wait till I'm in my 40's pick up a 29yr old trad and use her as a baby oven then.

>I'm not up to date on Bear lore.

Well I don't know who you are but it doesn't matter stick around and get your fill.

All I'm going to say is you need something like 200k to afford a minimum home here and it's hard to have a home business without a home.

>>1278

I'm the retard who was reading "home business" as "business working on people's houses." It's a little understandable with all the construction talk... right...?


My tulpa brother talks that he wants to go to my new job, so the money will be his. I ask him what on earth he wants to spend money on. He really struggles to tell me. He says, little plastic sharks and wooden building blocks, and this cool hot wheels garbage truck I did not let him buy from the store the once. That's like 50 bucks total though....

Do you like your education? I really can't gauge what's worth it anymore. I've been in and out of university more than I care to explain, with no sheepskin.

There's not really a super strong correlation between the degrees and the higher paying, nicer jobs, if you ask me, in regards to my career field. It's more a "you have it or you don't have it" thing. It'll put you more on the admin side for sure- but I don't think I want on the admin side, ever. I don't want to play politics, ever, I want to do actual hands on work.

>>1287

Let me just clarify something. When I said 200k I meant 200k/yr the minimum actual price of a decent home here is a mil.

>business working on people's houses

I'm not shady enough to make money at that.

>Do you like your education?

Bruh

>There's not really a super strong correlation between the degrees and the higher paying, nicer jobs

Bruh^2

>It's more a "you have it or you don't have it" thing

So you're saying you're a greeter at Walmart or a multi billionaire, but a degree has no bearing on this?

> It'll put you more on the admin side for sure

F that. I'm no boss like that. People suck and I'm not going to caudle them with adda boy just because they did their f-ing job. My buisness partner handles that dumb stuff. I'm the talent side fo sho. I def don't want any underlings at my day job either. Don't waste my time.

>I don't want to play politics, ever, I want to do actual hands on work.

I hate office politics, they can kiss my ass, and they do. I'll stay out of that at all costs even if it means less money.

There's not really a super strong correlation between the degrees and the higher paying, nicer jobs, in my career field.

In my exact position, some of my coworkers have their masters and most have their bachelor's. I have no degree and make the same or more than them. My supervisor has just high school equivalancy from another country.

One of my coworkers does have the degrees to be able to go on the salaried, more admin desk job side: but everyone in town has refused to hire her there because she's a lazy POS, personality problems. So what a waste of a degree.

Ain't no one making six figures, pretty sure the highest salaried position in my building makes 80k a year....


I know several people who claim their solo construction buinesses as nonprofits, somehow. The same type of people who make 150k a year but don't buy car or health insurance, and are constantly bitching about the IRS. I wonder why lol.

Yes! Swimming season is here and I am out of shape for real.

Went to the uni pool with bestie, one of our group got us passes, but bestie had lessons anyway. So I swam during and it felt good man, great water temp.

>>1304
mfw host isn't the first to post 'reference photos' of scantly clad little girls

We've already been swimming in several lakes and rivers this year. Most were cold but not icy.

>>1304
>>1309

Um hello, one of you posted a nude Gretta the eco terrorist photoshop waaay more scandalous than a girl swimming.

>>1310
That was no child, at least not by European standards.

Anyway I'm not even mad, was invited to distant neighbors and looked after and played with their 7 year old girl who was completely naked while splashing around with water in the garden. Get on my level, this kills the American. But nobody gives a fuck here and that's good. Her mother is refreshingly normal and knows I'm uber-reliable.

Girl's a bit of a dimwit and has no strong opinion on the industrial output of the Ottoman Empire in WWI but is quite nice - as long as she's alone. Goes full bitch mode when playing with other kids though, literally another person.

Why are humans like this? I never understood and it was terrible for me as a child. I hate competitive or manipulative people and group dynamics. It's like wolves competing for their rank in the pack. How unrefined. Especially girls excel in such psycho games from earliest age. Can't they all just quietly and productively work together like the gears in a clockwork without constantly trying to fight, cheat and exploit each other? I was never like this.

As you may guess I'm really not good with children. They're considered legally insane for a reason, inconsiderate, unreliable and irrational little sociopaths who ruthlessly exploit every opportunity without regard for the feelings of others. Very tough for INFP people like me. Even worse for tupper who has zero tolerance for creatures not living up to her unreachable ideals (aka everyone) and on top of that loli-charm doesn’t work on her.

So yeah, was good but emotionally exhausting after a few hours. That’s enough socializing with kids for some weeks now. No idea how parents deal with that all day every day. You either need to be an emotionally blind sociopath or simply dumb enough not to think about it.

>>1304
>phone timestamp filename
got me there for a second thinking this was actual photo of the girl you took but i can into reverse image search

>>1315
>be bernd
>play with 7yo girl
>has no strong opinion on the industrial output of the Ottoman Empire in WWI
>dumb bitch, do not want as gf
ebin

>>1316
i'd be more worried about him getting bullied by little girls

An old English lady made it a point to tell me that I'm "ravishing" and it's it a shame I'm not immortalized by a master. I have no clue what just happened. I said that that was very kind and she walked away.

I mean old and hunched over, that old.

Half my mind is like, "aww isn't it nice to be beautiful" and the other half is like, "was I just marked?" Like is some Indian going to call me and say some old lady is kidnapped and they need walmart gift cards.

It's not the first time though. A few years ago I was getting my hair cut and an old lady said I looked "like an all American boy... just so handsome".

>>1323

Step it up. I am not-infrequently accused of being Asian and looking like Dragon Ball Super Gohan by a bunch of mentally ill and demented people. One person told me I should seriously consider that I was Gohan in a past life.

I know how much Yakumo wants to know the intimate details of a Bear's life so:

I went to a 9yr old's bday party today, had too much cake, wanted a nap but had to hold the piñatas. Girls scream very loud, but it doesn't bother me, they were giggling with bestie who is 9 I guess, so I've known her for 6 years, and I'm glad she got invited bc she was bullied by some of these brats, they played nice and ran around like manuiacs. They wanted me to go into a tiny tent, I declined, puppy eyes were involved, so I stuck one foot in, and it was like a girl blender in there. Never saw such a small tent let alone one crammed with girls. Then they tickled my foot, so I escaped, was chased, then they wanted to paint my nails, I had to use all my free will not to say, "no that's gay" bc not pc and they care about that shit. I RAN BRUH.

The mothers boozed it up with box wine so apparently I'm the most responsible person I know which is why I was dragged there.

The cake was good though. No icecream? Wtf?

One of the girls threw up so now I expect everyone to be sick.

Waz fun.

[Ashley] Bear talks tough but he's such a softie. He performed above and beyond the call of duty.

[Bear] there was a super hot mother there and I spoke briefly with her who overheard me talking about something and she wanted to help me because she said she knew something about it but she was vacuous, she didn't understand something obvious about it and I guess she just wasn't listening or something because seriously. Def will dream bang her later.

>>1327
>not you being the pinata
How disappointing

Also I seriously can't deal with screaming children or loud adults. Or generally people who can't STFU.

My loli gang luckily was relatively quiet but they were more like 12+
Didn't get my toenails painted but you can also have a lot of fun with permanent markers. Also tickled, yes. And they loved to sit or stand on me. Good times, it all seems so surreal nowadays

>I had to use all my free will not to say, "no that's gay"
Missed opportunity to redpill girls against cultural marxism and leftist tranny propaganda. Mom of mentioned 7yo neighbor girl recently told me she's desperate about what they tell kids about 'sexual diversity' in schools nowadays and that her class is full of antiosocial sandniggers so she's thinking about sending her daughter to a private conservative school. I could see how relieved she felt being able to talk to somene who wouldn't immediately call the police but agree with her. Well she knows I'm a right-wing extremist gun nut by today's standards so that wasn't overly surprising.

>Def will dream bang her later.
Why not 4 real?

>>1328

Irl me if I took a nap instead of holding piñatas. Seriously tho I don't like people touching me and I don't discriminate old vs young.

Why would I want to bang some young mother? Just because her husband works as a doctor or a lawyer or whatever, all these women are multimillionaires and don't work and spend all day at the spa or yoga and shit, it's the area I live.

And she was hot for fantasy purposes but not hot enough to pass for real. Like, I have standards and truly if she was single and I was interested in dating or even hooking up, I wouldn't with her because I don't need the drama. I really don't need that drama. All my friends and headmates have already told me they won't allow me to have a girlfriend anymore. Long story but I agree and am happy not to.

I need to die alone and blissfully happy in doing so. Oh dark lord of hades, I want nothing of the drama of a real relationship or hookup. I have an aversion now, really.

Also glad to see you're still alive.

>>1143
Dancing status?

>>1331
>Seriously tho I don't like people touching me and I don't discriminate old vs young.

And I thought I was assburger.
I like to be touched by girls very much.

I'm being dragged to a Magic The Gathering Friday night magic session and I barely know how to play and am not competitive. Every time I go to these things I accidently cheat somehow (look at my cards when I'm supposed to sneak a card back in without looking, use a card that still has summoning sickness, forget to take damage, do math wrong, shuffle but forget to cut and let my opponent complete) and some turbo nerd gets bent out of shape. There seems to be almost no casual scene for MtG, just big sore losers with deep pockets to keep up with The Game.

I'm a tabletop nerd but I clearly lack whatever autismo powers a lot of people have, because my goal is fun and immersion, not being ahead in The Game (buying shit) and studying strategy like it's chess when it's YuGiOh.

I just want to be around people within 10 years of my age who are chill and not mentally ill- is this really so hard to ask? Am I the last person under 25 without ADHD or depression or anxiety or social media brain rot?

I really have low expectations that sound like "don't be on crack", "a little schizophrenia is okay", "don't care if they're neet so long as they're maybe on disability", "can be physically disfigured sure" but I just can't be friends with someone who talks constantly about how gay they are, and apparently everyone is gay now.

It gets so stressful to have no buddies. This is why God lets me have TWO in-head brothers.

>>1344
Loser!

>>1347
>under 25
>I just want to be around people within 10 years of my age
Bad news, everyone here is at least 10 years older than you, the Big Guys are mid 40s

>>1347
>chill and not mentally ill

In this community?! Unicorns don't exist outside of MLP dude.

>apparently everyone is gay now

Zoomers suck dick ngl

>MtG

You:Plays a game that was popular with the autistic genX'ers
Also you:Wonders why a bunch of autistic genX'ers are playing it

At least you're not on crack or other harder drugs? Most of yo gen are doing that too... though millennials aren't much better in that regard, fucking losers, all of them, thank Ganesha fentanyl is thinning that heard.